Maybe I should rename this blog...

... to that of something reflecting the sobering beauty of passing seasons, something I've come to realise and been lucky enough to experience so many times during these recent years

So much has happened since my last post, so many things that have been great and that I wanted to blog about. Things like the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to, hunting rabbits and cycling, frequent airport runs and the comings and goings of my family, the offerance and subsequent rejection of jobs, the blessings of new/old friends...

... the cycle of love, lost and found, the hope of what the future might look like (and the stress of it too)...

And the sheer extreme busyness of it all, exhaustive as it may be, with nary a time to pause and blog. But above even all the amazing experiences I've had this past month, the passing weekend has been something that I simply could not let go without trying to capture in words my thoughts and heart

Have just come back from our final, resie retreat, marking the close of what has been without a doubt the most brilliant chapter of my life to date. We started the year with a resie retreat, we're seeing the ending of this fellowship with one too

We spent the night out at Sorrento, at a holiday house that was also populated with 'Nomes' family, eating greek, visiting the early closing Sorrento hotel, beaching and lazing in the sun on a verandah... each one of us slowly absorbing what will be one of the last, significant times of this year we will share as resies

There has been so much we've gone through together, so much we've all shared that goes beyond anything I could possible contain in a blog, and so much more than any human should be blessed to experience

Before we came back, we stopped at spray point... a somewhat empty point over crashing waves into rocks creating immense sprays. An unplanned stopped, we caught the setting sun... and we all sat... in quiet, wind and spray... watching the glowing, red sphere slowly dipping below the horizon... and without fanfare or much word, we all loved... appreciated... cried... in rememberance of the amazing chapter we were all blessed to have

and then there was wed-thurs-fri!!

and in one last burst, what's been up for the last couple of days!!

wed was another nothing day, which was brilliant - Vee came over later that night and we just talked and coffee'd around the kitchen and lounge all the way till 5am!! i love being young :D

thurs day i got my hair cut (in a little bit of a bizar way; i'm not sure if i should let jeff just do "whatever" again :S), the night time saw me and vee watching a documentary that had been compiled about van nguyen called "Just Punishment" - it was pretty sobering, as expected, and quite well made. i think again, it reaffirmed the sort of direction i want my life to go... in terms of actively fighting, or working, to make this world even a fraction better

afterwards me and vee had something to eat, and then went to cookie (on swanston) - on the outside it didn't look that great (had walked by it so many times), but was very cool on the inside!! the atmosphere was great... and the cocktail we tried (which we were prewarned that we would have to wait 25mins for!!) was fun as - an "absinth green fairy"

one last moment

i figured i should probably break up this post, as opposed to one ginormous one :P

tuesday night was... a little magical, and perhaps a little poignant. i spent the afternoon/evening with someone... someone that i'd had to let go of, not so long ago, and was therefore a little hesistant and unsure about what to expect of the encounter

we ended up in a tree (no, NOT kissing 8-)), in a park we'd never been too, climbing and sitting amongst the branches and talking for over 4-5 hours. having conversations about everything... watching life walk by beneath us... and in the cool of the night, the breeze rushing through the branches, moving us powerfully, but gently... closing my eyes and giving myself to the rhythmic swaying of the branch I sat on

for me... the eternal romantic of life... it was a moment. a moment, given the situation with the person, might well be the last i ever see of her, and therefore both bittersweet and harmonious - i hope that i'll be able to remember it that way... a snap shot of possible love... the hope of something special... with the grounding of the reality of it never to be

the week in passing...

i think way too much and way too seriously about questions people ask :P when people ask what i've been up to, i actually try and think about what it is i've been up to... then again... am i meant to quite easily know these things...??? i am, aren't it :S

so... here's me doing a brain dump of the week in passing... so at least somewhere there'll be something i can refer to about actually having done something :P


saturday morning/arvo found me bbq-ing on the front steps of collins street baptist - it was a really nice day to be outside and frying, even against the bizar backdrop of riot police dudes, white aterial block rampagers, and mark serenely reading the newspaper in the midst of it all...



after packing up, i rode into the 'burbs and had a quiet night with vee and darius - we watched amelie, sat around talking, whilst darius espoused (not knowing what i'd been doing that day) that protestors are worse than terrorists

sunday morning i managed to roust myself out of bed to check out the morning service @ grace church, which starts at a barnstorming time of 9:20am!! was there with vee, mikey and bibi... and we did a whole church service before 11am - 11am!! went home, pottered for a bit, and then did the acf evening version... 2xservices in one day... yup, was quite holy that sunday :P

monday? i did nothing!! which is always weird for me... after having been consistently frantic for the last few months on end, whenever i get to a break time, it can feel a little unnatural :P i ended up seeing "the prestige" @ village, knox... by myself... doing the whole movie by myself thing in knox... although the movie was a great one... i should have probably picked one with a bit more pick-me-up in it, rather than throw-self-off-building vibes :S

jedi nate!!

the week before, i'd been @ deb's birthday party, where her brother has SIX working replica light sabres!! so here's me being a pink jedi knight...

nate & the G20 Christian Collective...

came down to the office to work a bit more on the project where I bumped into Simon, one of the Seedy mob that works with the education team @ the Den - he was making rice to bring back to the encampment

i'd visited them earlier in the day, and it was a bit ironic that once upon a time I might have viewed such groups as weird and a bit eclectic, and now there i was crossing the road to the peaceful protest morever to visit my friends :P

in any case, in chatting to simon for the few moments he was here, and to the few friends I'd bumped into today, i started to hear about something about media reports... about the radio going on about the 9 or so christian protesters sitting outside the hyatt... so I did a search on the herald sun and age sites, and found this on the age:

Christian collective

G20 Christian Collective spokesperson, Reverend Simon Moyle, said about 10 of members of his group had arrived at the corner of Collins and Russell streets this morning to protest the forum at the Grand Hyatt.

"We're here because this meeting of G20 is not representative of the people it most affects," Mr Moyle said.

"We're particularly concerned about the environment. We've been excluded from (the forum) but we're here to basically ask for tickets on behalf of ... the poor ... to say these people need and deserve a ticket and a place at the table."

Mr Moyle said the group had been asked to move their tent from outside the Grand Hyatt Hotel, despite previous approval by police of the location.
"We're G20 Christian collective and we're part of a whole bunch of churches around Melbourne. We're just a concerned voice for the poor.

"We're here for 60 hours, from this morning to Sunday night and will be maintaining a constant vigil."

and here's another article by the Herald Sun: G20 Christians protest

it's funny, because simon himself was a bit bewildered by all the media attention - he'd thought that at the worst, the Police would tell them they weren't allowed there, and at best they were expecting to be largely ignored. But because they're the only group on the scene at the moment, they're the ones getting all the media airplay :S

christop is there, and is planning to be there for most of it, shunning his bed and his "visions" for the collective and the street - i'm just about to head out to finish buying the rest of the food for tomorrow's BBQ, so i might pop by and see how they're all doing out there

nate & the G20...

it's a bit surreal all the stuff that's sorta escalating seemingly out of nowhere in regards to the G20 - I say seemingly, as there've been heaps of awareness and mediatory activities, some good stuff by the Seedy mob, but me being a little slow on the uptake I'm probably only sorta getting it with the advent of so much police stuff happening at our front steps :S

it's going to be an awesome day, with heaps of events happening for you to both enjoy and be passionate about - my prayer, if any, would be for us ALL to be challenged, and pushed far beyond our comfort zones, by what God might be saying in the midst of it all

Note: I'll be @ the prayer & reflection space on the front steps of Collins Street Baptist

At 7:30am Friday morning A G20 Christian Collective will attempt to set up a "Third World and Environment Ministers Embassy" beside the barricades surrounding the Hyatt as a way of demonstrating the exclusion of the poor and other essential factors in the G20 meetings. This will begin a peaceful 60 hour non-stop vigil in solidarity with the excluded that will extend through to Sunday evening. You are welcome to join in for part or all of it

On Saturday between 9am and 3pm there will be a prayer and reflection space at Collins Street Baptist Church, with a sausage (and veggie burger) sizzle on the steps

Also on the Saturday, Make Poverty History is holding a festival in the Alexandra Gardens between 10am and 8pm. It will feature bands, stalls, information booths, and reflection spaces. For more information, see http://www.makepovertyhistory.com.au

 

images of today...

bleh... just came out of another random encounter, which just confuses me a bit more :S

anyways, before i was interrupted, i was just about to blog the craziness that was today...

woke up this morning to the sound of thumping on my door, which after 5mins of sleepy deliberation, decided it really was my bedroom door that was thumping, threw on a pair of shorts and my trinity top and groggily wandered out to find out that i was now the designated driver, with the mission of getting the credo lions (cricket team - it's cricket you can believe in...?) to noble park


so cricket it was!! my first game with the lions (or possibly ever?!) - drove out to noble park, played the 'noble knights' (which had a unoh face (jon owens was playing, for those who remember him from jumpstart '06)), who we absolutely thumped. had them all out for 40 in under 14 overs (these games are limited 25 overs each side), which we made easily in about the same amount of time, and having lost only two or so wickets - i even took a catch!! few more pics on marcus's credo cricket blog



that's my "look-I'm-a-cricketer-really!" smile :P after which i got back, showered and just got pretty much prepped for the pain in the arts exhibition opening!! i managed to find a few minutes to wander out and grab a strong latte, but that was about it :S

wandered down to the the city library (not the state library, the city library (on flinder la)) for the opening, and though i was really worn by then, it was pretty fun :) was great to be there celebrating the works of good friends, and i'm always partial to great cheese too :D




when i eventually get around to it, i'll be putting the rest of the pics on my flickr (otherwise known as the nates photos link on the right) - meanwhile, christop also posted some stuff on the exhibition on his wonderfully awful blog

meanings...

how was your cup day? mine was ok... i mean, i got to spend quite a bit of time with some pretty good friends, both of acf and coc variety... i got to eat decent enough food (red silks and bbq meat (i.e. not canned food)), & went through a full set of exercises. when it all comes down to the bottom line, it seems balanced, & full enough... doesn't it...?

i'm not sure if it's because i'm getting closer to yet another juncture where i try & figure out what to do with the next part of my life, or if it's the random & fleeting popping ins of once significant people, that has gotten me feeling a bit out of it... it could even be the bizar sleeping patterns i held the previous two or so days (yeah, bizar even for me...)

maybe i'm just being greedy... & not appreciative enough... maybe there ARE times where I just need to relax... & be thankful... I dunno...

don't get me wrong... i love my friends & think they're incredibly wonderful people, and in all honesty I do think of them as perhaps better than me, if i were to state things simplistically...

the thing is, even as i sat there, & laughed & ate... i just felt like the world was somewhat slipping away

i'd seen them most of them, in the same setting, only a few days ago... & it really scared me the thought that my extrapolated life could just be series of meaningless gatherings

again, lemme restate, i love my friends, & I think the world of them, & incredibly highly of them... this isn't a reflection on them at all... but moreover a reflection of me

simply, i want my life to be brilliant - not just for my own sake, but in the name of those who have gone on before me... in the revelation of lifes finiteness... in revelation bourne from those who have passed away, that every minute is precious and God blessed

there are times, times that i've absolutely cherished & that have been absolutely necessary, that i've spent doing 'nothing' with my friends... but in each... in each there'd been an adventure there... whether it'd be on a rooftop in the city, or a rooftop in the suburbs next to freeway construction

i want so badly to run so hard with every breath i have, to still be running when my time on earth is up (however soon that might be), making differences, however small, to ease some of the pain in this world... just sometimes... sometimes it's hard to figure out where to start... & sometimes just a little morbid when you realise the very real possibility of being trapped in world where you find yourself doing the same thing, all the time

nate is humming...

I've added music!! Let me know how it goes (i.e. if it's annoying, too slow to load, etc)... I'm curious to see how it'll work - player controls are on the right :D

Song of the moment? "Bratja" or which translates to "Brothers" composed by Michiru Oshima (they're singing in Russian if you're wondering)

nate wants to be astroboy...

Anime! @ the NGV!! If someone wants to come with me (time/date TBA), give us a shout out :D

"TEZUKA Osamu is heralded as an icon of the Japanese manga movement; acknowledged in Japan as an artistic master, and revered as the figurehead of the manga and anime industries. Creating over 700 manga titles during his lifetime, he is best known in the West for his cartoons of Astro Boy and Kimba the White Lion, which were serialized for television in the 1960s. Tezuka’s work is acclaimed for its complexity and originality and his drawings showcase an extraordinary calligraphic dynamism. His prolific manga work contains two main streams: manga ‘comic pictures’ for a youth audience, including Astro Boy, Kimba and Princess Knight; and gekiga ‘drama pictures’ – more seriously-toned, adult oriented narratives such as Song of Apollo and Ludwig B, that stress realistic effect and emotional impact. This exhibition features both aspects of his work, introducing Western audiences to the complexities and extraordinary range of the manga form.

This exhibition has been negotiated through Tezuka Productions in Tokyo. Comprising original drawings, designs for manga covers and posters, the exhibition will introduce Western audiences for the first time to the full scope of Tezuka’s artistic output."

3 November 2006 - 28 January 2007
Ground Level, NGV International
Admission fees apply

For more info, jump here

nate wears prada...

I decided to something tonight that I hadn't done in a long, long while.

I decided to go see a movie, by myself.

With 3 hours of sleep, having been up completing a 2000 word assignment, and having been on-the-go from 7:30am-6:30pm, I was quite utterly exhausted.

All the way to the cinema I kept second guessing myself, arguments such as "you don't have that much money to spend already and on top of that you're going to need to find a job soon", "it's not that great a movie, why bother", "why not have a quiet, cheap night @ home, you're going to be too tired to enjoy it anyways" playing over and over in my head, I got to the ticket box and bought a single ticket to The Devil wears Prada.

I walked home again, eating greasy fast food and talking on the phone to Nigel about something or rather to do with wines (at this point I had little cognitive faculty to fully process the conversation really), sat down @ home for 15mins before heading back out :S

I settled into the cinema seat, squished in between people, not even having the solace of space to rest comfortably in, with a girl on the right playing loudly on her phone and the people on my left looking disapprovingly at her. Even the previews weren't that great (I mean, Santa Clause 3?!), and it's usually a part of the experience I relish. The movie started soon after, and the starting sequence was fairly straight forward - a large chunk of it composes the trailer I had seen after all.

But there's something about a good movie that will just blind me to the harsh realities I've become accustomed to dealing with (and living in!!) everyday, and it's really quite annoying :S

I found myself grudgingly evolving from smiling, to chuckling, to laughing @ comedic junctures, and... feeling.

A girl that I could be with, and that could be with me, doesn't exist I still maintain, doesn't exist, the realist within cries out.

But in every halfway decent romantic movie, I find myself inevitably falling in love with the hope of one. The magic of that intangible, or what some may simply call chemistry, that renders that someone else into someone transcendent.

For most, romantic comedies are something to stay away from, especially when still fresh from relationship failure, but for myself I find them completely and utterly necessary – they simply restore my faith and my hope, in love.

Whilst there mightn’t be a girl out there for me, I still walked home a little warmer, and a little fuzzier on the inside – being in love, with the idea of being in love, is something I’m ok with being right now :)


P.S. Oh, and Frank Walker from National Tiles came into lunch today...

which one is the most beautiful dictator of u/seed...

a visual experiment that i've wanted to do since the bolt article :P

kim jong il vs
mark pierson

and finally, today

with barely any sleep last night (not for lack of trying, I just couldn't drift off :(), I woke up for cook duty today... which we thought we had under control... until we got to lunch time and found that the ovens hadn't been on :'( It kinda worked out though, we sorta got the people that were still there fed @ about 12:30ish :P

after which i had jackson duty, the five (?) year old of a couple that come into lunch... and we went for a walk, down to the riverside and down to the playground by the yarra behind fed square i never knew existed... and so for a couple of hours, in a day that got sunnier and sunnier, i got to be a big brother...


and now, after staff drinks, will be heading down to luke's friends place for his bucks bbq!! great company, team america the movie, and a bbq... what more could you ask for :D

thurs in passing...

i pretty much got almost everything done that i'd wanted to - applied for a job (not sure if i'll even get to interview stage, but eh, i figure @ least applying for 1 would make my parents happy :P), worked some details out for a group assignment, did my tax return (no money owed, no money returned, I'm pretty happy with that result :)), e-mailed the agency about how what the deal of working in japan is...

wed in passing...

the surreal part of wed came from the u/seed strategy meeting @ PWC, Southbank... here we rocked up, this motley crew in the midst of almost the epitome of corporate-ness, getting stuck in the rotating door and playing with our passes that allowed us to pass through the glass entry barriers...

... which led to the elevator we took to go to the 19th floor on which we were in one of their fancy, fancy corporate boardrooms and super comfy big chairs with a specatular view for a meeting with their foundation person :S

it was so surreal to be fully emersed in one environment (central house) and then go across a bridge to be submerged in a diametrically opposed version!

the presentation was really slick, the muffins were to die for, and we left the bottled drink bowl quite empty...

tues in passing...

tues was the usual h/core day, starting with up @ 8am for admin - but then it changed! as it was common work day, normal credo lunch was closed and we spent the day fixing up the place, a working bee of sorts, and it was the best way to spend the day. I was outside, painting the laneway in my daggy shorts and my old trinity top in the warmish day, and it was brilliant :D

went to staff prayers and then into a final group uni presentation, and after another ~2 hours that was uni classes done for... ever???

went to see Little Miss Sunshine after that @ the Rivoli with Vee, which was just the best way to finish that day - the movie is simply great (most definitely go see it), @ my favourite cinema and the company I was with had no equal :)

times in passing...

... hmm... what's been going on in my life...

last Friday night JEvermoreny came on a bible walk, then had Hui's housewarming the next Saturday night, crashed @ parents home that night and finally found myself back @ home Sunday arvo...

i work for north korea...

andrew bolt wrote the most bizar article last friday that drew parallels between north korea and u/seed :S

marcus (he'll be taking the jevermoreny walk this fri) then wrote a response on his own blog

they're a bit of a read, especially the response, but I found them well worth while, if only to reaffirm with Marcus's response why I do what I do :P

and, if you're keen, here's one I found in my online travels, an interesting article contrasting Christian right and left, using Kevin Rudd and Bolt's articles (in response to Rudd) as a basis

"providence"

It might have been “providence”, the word she used only a few days before, that I wrote and experienced that last post... for last night I received a formal “no” answer to what had been a few months period of waiting.

Even in light of the last post, I still felt incredibly sad. The last couple of months had been something in my life that had been amazingly light-bringing to me and incredibly positive, and to have to let something like that go is still harder than the pre-awareness I had could shield me from.

It took me a couple of moments to come to terms with the possibility a couple of days ago, but when it actually happened, it just hurt... still does.

Wasn’t going to be able to get much sleep anyways, so I woke up early, went through a full set of exercises and got through a lot of personal banking/admin and then went down to lunch... and it was ok... had been wondering if I should go for cricket training today... or if I would use that time to hide away from the world where I could...

But I decided to go... and I took part more than I’d ever done before... I bowled, I batted and fielded... and in the sun, as I continued to live life as full as I could @ every moment, the memories of the night started to fade away... phone calls from/to my closest friends started to reveal life’s goodness to me again, and later on, after hip hop class, when I see my friends again, I will be almost whole again

I AM a little irritated... before this all happened, I was happy being single!! I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and had been fine with the idea just being me!! Having your heart handed back to you sucks, and I’m almost stubbornly going to strive now to never have to give it to anyone... to be ok with me, and just me. It’s so much safer... and less painful...

At the end of the day, I failed forward, and I’ll get up, dust my heart off, and keep walking. I took the risk, it didn’t come off, but that’s ok, it really will be. Somewhere out there, there might be someone on Earth that might somehow love me for who I am, but until that day, I’m still more than satisfied chasing the someone in heaven that’s done that since the day I came into this world :)

He gives... and takes away...

I always espouse the beauty of tragedy... of season changes... to those who happen into unfortunate conversation with me :)

About the fact that the realisation of the finite nature of things, like the shortness of good weather... of a special day... or a special period in life... special friends and of special relationships... of life... lends a tinge of especially significant beauty to each

A sequence of events today gave me a bit of a heart check - and whilst I know I might be analysing things maybe a bit too much, the place it led me to is one I want to be at

The possibility of new relationship had been something growing for awhile now, and today I was hit with some very real signs that it might not be

Momentary sadness, but almost immediate, overwhelming peace with where I am, and who I am in my God came to me... and I was content :)

Who knows how things will turn out, I'm not even bold enough to predict that I'll be around to see the next day, but I love being in a place where I can reaffirm the primary orientation of my heart as my Father, and that even in light of expected loss, I can still be joyful in the life He gives me

marking time...

I've been lucky enough this week to have been able to use some annual leave at my parents place... came down on Tuesday arvo and have been here since :)

I'd been trying to figure out in terms of uni work and logistics if it was better to be in the city or to be here, but thanks to Raylene's insistent booting, I decided to come out here, and the brief, brief respite of these last couple of days have been amazingly refreshing :D

The chance to spend a weekday(!!) afternoon watching a kids 3D movie and eating chips in the sun @ knox... the time to spend a balmy spring night on a BBQ and laying out on play equipment... the time to sit and eat ice cream in front of the supermarket late, on a weeknight... and the time to just be, with some of my closest friends and family?

Priceless :D

Seizing a day :)

I was watching the Fellowship of the Ring last night, and came across the bit when Frodo was ruing to Gandalf having to be alive during such ominous times

Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

As much as this came from a cornball fantasy movie, that simple truth spoke to me in the wake of rememberance, in respects to my last post

Today I woke up, cleaned the laneway and the garage, had a fantastic outdoor bbq in the laneway with great company and then drove out to cricket training in a full, rickety car, came back and went for a bread run, came back and went to hip hop class, and am now back @ u/seed resolved to do at least 750 words on my assignment before I eat tea... all this done before 8pm...

I feel tired, but in such a good way, and no matter which way I look at it, I've seized today

Yup, I'm Frodo Baggins :P I'm still alive, for whatever reason that may be, and with every minute that I'm blessed with, I'm going to be resolved to be busy making the most of each one

Guess that means I should stop blogging now and start typing assignment words :P

Time... to go home

I've just come from Ps Teoh's funeral, picking up my things to head back into the city - it's time... to go home

And I'm upset. With myself, and if I'm honest, a bit with God

I mean, what the hell?! I never got to know Ps Teoh or his family that well being in different congregations, so I have no right to feel as sad as I do. I have no right to be crying over a man I barely knew, and for a family I never made an effort to get to know

What the HELL gives me the right to live this long?! WHY am I still here, when Gene has to go, when Ps Teoh is called back... when they had still so much good stuff to live. I don't have any kids that I actually treasure, I've already lived a blessed life...

In the last 7 days I got to be in someone's bridal party, I got to see a beautiful baptism - why the HELL am I so blessed

Why... why... why am I still crying... what right do I have... to cry

If someone comments to this post with a Christian cliche, I will so get angry - don't

and some notes on today...

had a visit from Korea, Jasmine and Sharon (all from citylife) today, who came down to share lunch with us - was good to catch up with Korea, if in the usual disfunct (and subtley threatening) Korea way.

Here's to brilliant days :D

Yesterday we had Credo team (meeting), where we usually get all those involved with Credo (volunteers, etc) and talk about stuff integral to the running of Credo Cafe.

We did that for 15mins, and then we all went to fed square for ice cream!! And it was just such a perfect way to spend that beautiful arvo... I'm still a bit dubious over my pistachio flavour choice, but a perfect arvo nonetheless...

Will get some photos up soon (yo christop, you forgot to give me the arvo photos too)...

guess who's in the laneway :D

hehehehe, excuse the pun, but this stuff is right up my alley... jump to christop's laneway blog entry!!

The weekend before...

Croc Hunter died, Brocky died... and I've had a pretty busy week too :)

Bucks weekend turned out much better than I'd thought - I'd gone thinking that it was going to be just a weekend away where a bunch of guys play xbox, and came away instead with some great moments.

I'd taken the Friday off, and went down first - arrived at the house @ 5, had a fishy chip dinner and wandered around for a bit... Went down to this amazing, secluded beach at just sat there staring out at the ocean. It was overwhelming, the sense of power and vastness of the ocean, the approaching waves (and me becoming more and more aware of how far the stairs up the cliffs were), together with the dark, ominous clouds filling the sky entirely... and the darkening day. Almost terrifying, in a bizar way.

Skip forward to the next day, and we did the bucks thing by stripping Gidz down to his jocks, gave him two towels and a pair of sunnies and then dumped him in the middle of town for him to walk back to the house - We then drove off, coming back every now and again to take photos :P

After we got back, a whole bunch of life ex'ers had come up, and proceeded to assemble the Halo multiplayer, at which I thought I'd be left to my own devices to entertain myself. But as me and Wes were finding a place to house my bike, we stumbled into the garage of the place and onto a bonanza of wet suits, surf and boogie boards!! It was a freezing day, but our minds were quickly made up - we were going out!!

We dragged Gidz away from the multiplayer conflagaration, and had one of the most memorable weekends ever - three guys, facing the waves on this beach we had all to ourselves.

The top photo really sums it up for me - three good friends together in a last hurrah

More hero shots in nate's photos...

no respite... none at all...

... and the weekend looks just as stupid too :( Going down this arvo to Philip Island for Gideon's bucks weekend... should be ok... will be back Sunday arvo...

Some drafts due on Monday night for some group work and another assignment also due that day... blehhh... damn it, that's it, I'm going to sleep now...

So tired...

Got the mega huge ASS-ignment done, with a large donation of sleep going towards it :( Starting to crash, humongously... must hang on... complete this post...

Bound the thing (binding is the most stupid process in the world, grrr), dropped it off this arvo and got to salvage some of the brilliant weather of the day with Viki... walked down and around the Botanical Gardens, through parts that I'd never seen before and seemed so foreign and fantasy like... lost in this green wonderland... then again, that could have also been the sleep deprivation speaking... and spent the developing evening sitting by the flame at the war memorial... after which we went back into the city and to Golden Monkey, where oddly enough I was recognised by the waitress there... the one we were betting on that night Mikey :P

Quote for my day :P

"…The strength of patience hangs on our capacity to believe that God is up to something good for us in all our delays and detours."
(Future Grace, pg. 174)

From desiringGod

at the moment?

Working my way through a report that's due soon... want to get a lot of it done, so will probably continue posting randomly throughout the night :P

Also listening to Ryuichi Sakamoto's Forbidden Love, playing on this blog... it's been on repeat for me the last 6hrs or so :P

And the w/end?

Yet another blur :S Friday night I went for a jap buffet with Vee and est, which was mega funny - because they make you pay for excessive wastage, and we underestimated the amount of food they brought out. We ended up spending a lot of time eating not for enjoyment (tho the food wasn't bad) and mostly to save money :P After which we went to Stokers... which was ok...

Saturday I went on a mystery church date with Eco-Paul... who took me out to Oakleigh and a bus out to... Cheltenham? Where I only got to find out which church it was when I got there, and it was Bayside :S Talking to the hospitality guy there afterwards, turns out we knew quite a few similar people, which was quite disturbing... I mean, how far do you have to go until you can get away entirely from the degrees of separation thing...

After that I met up with bibi, mikey and vee and we all went to Golden Monkey, and inadvertantly had a blast meeting the promo people there :P All extremely beautiful, and all taken, but some were just really nice and spent a lot of the night talking to us :P Mikey was in halfie heaven...

Sunday afternoon woke up, pottered around a bit then met up with Viki... which was unreasonably fun as usual :S We went skating @ St Kilda again, this time @ night, and found ourselves in the most momenty-moments... on a pier... on a hill, looking out over the bay... and wondering by the end of the night, just where all the time had gone...

the week gone by...

... and then, it was Friday :S Can't believe it's already here, glad it is, tho there isn't much respite in immediately viewable sight.

Mikey & Kaiwin crashed over on Wed night cuz they missed their last train... amusing tales on Christop's site...

Then Vee came down last night, and we went adventuring until the wee hours of the morn... which will remain unspecified as my dad sometimes comes by this blog :P

Which leaves us with Fri! Woke up, had lunch, cleaned up Credo, fixed the right hand mirror on my bike, and will now meander thru other assorted tasks... hopefully a work weekend ahead of me tho, hope to get a lot of good h/work done tomorrow and Sunday...

hehehe...

... ok ok, back down to earth now... but it's a bit fun to go through these crazy, obsessive moods every now and again :P

funny how...

...you can have seen someone the previous day, and yet feel like it's been forever since you last talked to them. When you repeatedly refresh your inbox hoping for their reply, even though you know they're away for those days... and when that reply finally comes, you hang onto every word that's said... and everything around you reminds you of them.

moments...

I've been blessed with some pretty special moments lately...

...skating/walking along the beach the beach and sitting at the end of a pier until that stars came out...

...spending some great and ridiculous times with some precious friends on the rooftop, on bean bags, huddled under blankets...

...spending a night by a lake watching the ducks swim by in the dim light...

...long phone calls with kindred spirits...

Life... has been pretty blessed :)

guess who's back... back again :)

As life settles down once again and I'm sitting here pondering the journey since my last post, it's a bit mind boggling the incredible distance I've come in a matter of a few months :S

Rather than attempt to type it all out, I figure I'll instead post some pics of my travels, to give a small snapshot of where I've been - there are more photos if you click the nates photos link on the right :)

you notice the door is shut... with a "be right back" sign, swinging from the doorknob...

... after being reminded of blogspace recently, I figured I should leave some sort of note explaining something...

Haven't blogged for ages, and I'm actually fantastically happy that I haven't been :D Life after exams have been extremely fun - have been getting into all sorts of strife and trouble, but in a mischievious, fun, fun way... well... fun now... will probably come back and bite in the proverbial buttocks, but eh... fun, fun :P

My last post was a bit painful, but in brief, am in a great place now, thanks though, those who have been concerned and for those praying for me :)

Life for me is so busy and fun, that I haven't the time to blog about it, which is great - will probably start dropping more notes here when life starts to slow down... it will eventually... right... I mean... it has to... I'll need to sleep sometime...

Blogging to clear the head... and leave a trail of crumbs..

Intermission from the last post...

I blog for numerous reasons, but primarily it serves as an avenue to release some of the "explosive diarrhoea" that congests my head, and heart... as well as to mark out my journey, so I can see where I've come from...

So here's a bit of a whinge about pain and heartbreak... I HATE being vulnerable :( Recently things have been great, I thought, hey... I'm getting over the breakup hump... and I think I still am... but there are little things, thoughts that come in and just derail that sometimes... there's still so much stuff inside that I've just been working so hard to hold up... so that life continues, study, work, friends... just keep swimming... been intense times of sadness... of wanting to cry... but not being able to...

Random thoughts... incoherence... yep... looks like a post that fits on my blog... back to study...

And finally, onto Sunday...

... this one was always going to take a bit of time to compose...

Sunday morning I actually work up earlish and made it down to Life Expedition... I was quite proud of that, until Tim decided to go overboard... and I found myself lamenting getting there @ 10:30am and still being in the seat @ 12:45pm... but, along with the Flinders Street bumpage last night, was really good to connect with the streeties that go there... grabbed takeaway lunch and headed home to hit the books...

Hit the books until 7, when I thought I'd make my way down to the Sunday dinners in Credo... was getting ready to head down when tremendous noises occurred... lotta banging...

I got down there to a shaken Ali - he'd been in the middle of a violent episode involving two huge drunk guys... who had literally thrown chairs at people, raised them to whack others, thrown bowls with such force as to break on impact... the police were called and took the one guy that had done all these things away...

Dinner went on... had a bowl of stuff and was talking to 'nomes when I heard a streetie discretely telling someone that the other guy was back... and so I inconspicuously headed out into the laneway to see what was up.

He was there, with another guy, drinking a bottle of Port and just being drunk... Ray was there talking with the other guy... and so I sat down with them, to make sure things were ok... started talking to them... well, as much as you can communicate with wasted people... and we sat there for the hour or so... was bloody freezing...

Eventually he falls asleep, and Christop has joined us by then... we start talking about what to do about getting them home... when Ray came out, nudged me and said as discretely as she could that we need to get them out NOW... cuz the Sunday night volunteers had called the cops again... I had but a moment to process that information when I looked up, and blinked hard... two cops walking were bearing down on us... I was like... frikking heck, this is bad...

To be continued...

Saturday's transgressions...

Woke up shamelessly late, and met up with Wes & Sas, Gids & Sue (yup, I was the fifth wheel) for Wes's birthday dinner (@ Crown), and I found the night really enjoyable... which yes... surprised me :) I think it's a sign that I'm finally getting over the hill of the last month...

I thought I'd try and style my hair after months of not bothering, so I went to the shops to get some stuff... given my orientation, I thought this product would be quite apt for me (look at the redish square highlight on the right of the image)...



Which resulted in...



Dunno readers... did I "create the ultimate Manga look"? :P

After the dinner, and a stop @ the Flinders Station steps, I met up with Mari (the tiniest Japanese girl that's 30!!) for a Kirin @ Robot Sushi, and then walked her home... wasn't a bad way to end the night, really...

Friday was a long one...

... cleaned laneway in the morn, cooked what was apparently a bonza carbonara with resie Christop for Credo, tidied up my essay (added appendices, references, conclusion and formatting), handed it in, had a nap and then went to Swanston St Church of Christ for the CRASH event that Mark Pierson was scheduled to speak @, in place of Tim Costello...

Was a bit bizar, as the event (we found out that night) was more a talent show that had the theme of homelessness, rather than any real street initiative... Mark gave a great message though, humble but challenging us to do more than just be aware of the complex issue, otherwise we perpectuate stereotypes, and just exploit the image for the goal of winning prizes...

It is FINISHED... well, sorta...

Time to catch up on copious amounts of blogging...!!

After kicking butt (I hope) on a 10% test last Tuesday and handing in 4500+ words of essay on Friday arvo I've concluded my semester 1 assignments!! Woo hoo... what an ordeal... but onto exams now... bleh...

D's for degrees...

... dammit, it's such a hard gay phrase, but it's going to get me through!! Whenever I've been feeling unfocussed or distracted, this is what Mikey will say - and it's so bizarre, cuz it works :S

Pretty happy with the work I put in over the weekend, 1600 words done for one assignment over sat/sun and then studied for a test (worth 5%) today, did it, and got 95%... just have to finish the assignment (3k words all up), and it's onto exams...

... d's for degrees...

someone tell me why...

... when it comes to the concept of "cheating" on partners, guys will be more hurt if the nature of the offense if physical, whilst girls will place more of an issue when it has to do with matter of the heart?

My tentative theory is that girls are more inclined to be with a guy due to their internals (no, not bodily organs, you know what I mean), whilst guys place a larger emphasis on external appearances.

Then again, I might have this concept wrong, and it might be girls that have a problem with physical cheating, etc...

Tell me readers, what's the general consensus...

Woo hoo...

... ~1200 words done today, I think it's time to sleep :) Another 1500 to go...

Has anyone got...

... a good copy of "My Sassy Girl"? I'm up late working on assignments (due in on Friday, so I think I'm doing ok), and this movie crossed my mind... I haven't seen it, but I've heard it's really sad... dunno, I think I'm partial to a sad romance movie @ the moment...

In rememberance...

Last night I attended a get-together organised by Sab, in celebration for Gene's graduation (Thursday night). I heard it was a nice event, the ceremony.

It was good to see some old friends, and to gather in honour of him, but a little subdued nonetheless.

Gene was like a little brother to me, and remembering his loss makes me feel like an idiot for going on about my own struggles sometimes - to realise that I'm blessed to have struggles, the chance to still direct my life and take risks, and yes, sometimes fall hard...

Photos from the festival...

Here are some photos that were taken @ the Jap festival last weekend...

The paths we walk...

Thursday night, Urban Seed hosted a fundraising concert that's been annually organised by Malleson's (I think that's how you spell it, the law-firm-place), a concert featuring a chamber ensemble (string instrumental group).

All of us @ Urban Seed were on hand to help out... and during the course of the night, I bumped into an old high school friend, Jack Hoi.

It'd been about 8 years or so since I'd last seen him (i.e. since high school), and it was so interesting to contrast the different paths we'd chosen...

He'd finished his Eng/Law degree with what must have been brilliant marks, as he is now currently working for Boston Consulting (who only encourage the top 5% of uni classes to apply) as a management consultant. His girlfriend was part of the string ensemble, so not only is she a skilled violinist, but being part of the group would place her as a lawyer @ Malleson's.

To me this used to be the best that any university graduate could ever hope to achieve - the perfect job (the starting salary is ridiculous), and the idealic, complimentary and brilliant significant other.

And whilst I indulged my fantasies for a bit and wondered what it would be like to live a life of such extreme comfort, and perhaps sophistication, I found myself re-affirming my own footsteps. Jack's life is one that most of the people I know aspire too, and perhaps I did @ one time too.

It was great to see that he was doing well, and seemed happy, but I love where I am in life, and what I chase now. I love being so happy and grateful for the little I sometimes think I have, and where the riches in my life are found in the people that surround me. I love that I'm attracted to "cruel and unusual" girls - she must be brilliant though, in who she is, but I think I'll be ok if it's not violin or lawyer-ing :)

inspiring people...

... the more I get to know the people I work with here, the more I'm in awe, and feel lucky, to be able to call them colleagues.

There's a girl that works with us @ Urban Seed, who's going through one of the most scariest ailments, and has been testing all this week with treatment to start next week...

And although she isn't allowed to eat before these tests (12hrs of no food), she still came in today to help us clean up after Credo... and she's not a nut, she's not getting paid to do clean-up, she doesn't talk about it, and she's a young, beautiful girl.

I've known people (including myself!!) to have taken days of work for far, far less. To be surrounded with people of such depth... just blows me away.

narcan episodes...

I was out of this one, but the other resies responded to a, I guess a near OD, in the laneway last night... a guy was on the nod, and when they couldn't get him to respond, the ambos were called in - as soon as they got there (the ambos), he got up and refused narcan (something the medicos use to flush out heroin from the system) saying he was allergic to it, however the ambos saying that they had a duty of care to do so, and so therefore if not allowed would call the cops... hats off to my resies, for another job well done...

bleh

breakups are frikkin painful - yeah, some days are ok, maybe even good, but some days just suck. When I go through this crap, I keep wondering why anyone would put themselves out there like that (i.e. relationship) when there's the potential to feel this wonderful @ the end of it... :(

Congrats Kaos & Emma...

two of the people who are a part of the credo community brought a new life to the table Sunday night... Oscar-Ferdinand something something...

I was storing the bike for the night when Kaos came wandering up and told me the good news... I have no idea what it's like to have a kid, but the enthusiasm is unbelievable contagious... it was a pretty damn decent way to close out the weekend...

the weekend in brief...

Fri night I crashed Brave cell, was good to interrupt est again... Sat arvo went to iDream with Karen... a meeting that forced uncomfortable confrontation with emotions I'd been repressing, and hence something I probably really needed... coffee with karen... focus group with ange & mikey... late night kfc with mikey... Sun was jap fest with yeungs, al & vee (and assorted others), nap @ parents, ACF Rowville visit, dinner with ange and mikey... and then home to the city...

to my friends...

the last week has been an emotionally hard one, and could have been much, much harder if it weren't for my magnificent friends...

... my fellow resies (ali, chris, nomes and ray), who have put up with me so much, and have given me so much, you guys get me through the tough weeks...

... my closest friends, mikey, ange... I love having friends that I love so much...

... my fellow braves... al, vee, est, karen, wes... who are there with the life-saving hugs and add the much needed colour to my life...

I realised last night that at the vulnerable points of last week, there was always someone there to help me through, pick me up a little... and to those people, thank you... again

brrr...

rode home last night... was frikkin cold... so I got in, looked it up, and yeah... 7degrees (plus the wind chill @ 100+ klicks an hour)...

everyone meet christop...

I've been meaning to get around to doing this for the longest time, so here it is! Done! Christop's blog, fellow resie (and penguin for this week) has been linked on the righthand side, or you can just click here.

Or here... here... maybe here if you like this one better...

nate @ the movies...

thanks dre for the invite, but I figure I should lay off games for a bit... I WILL join you guys one day though :)

Last night @ nova I saw "Where the truth lies" - a mystery/murder type movie, arthouse-y (only showing in a few cinemas) and rated somewhat well... it wasn't bad... Tonight I saw MI3 @ Hoyts, Melb Central, and that wasn't bad either...

Have been actively attempting to rejoin life, after being a little inspired by my meeting fun people incident, and mikey/est pick-me-ups (refer to previous posts)...

And as such, have made it a point, that I won't be @ home moping & depressed - have started filling up my dance card, and once again am @ the point where there are things that I'm looking forward to... and not just getting through the day with as little pain as possible...

Which is why the last two movie nights have been nights I'd made it a point to see movies, by myself - which also brought up the question in my head, isn't that what movies are ideal for anyways... I mean, how much do you get to know/spend time with your friends when you go see a movie with them...

Anyways... they turned out really great... the cinemas were a place where I had no responsibilities, my life @ that point was not interruptable and the only person I had and wanted to worry about, was me... and after long days/weekend @ work, I dunno... it was just great...

Esp with the tickets @ nova being cheaper on Mondays, and the cinemas having such a comfy feel... those seats are great, and the cinema is small enough to feel personal, but the screen large enough to make it feel like something special is happening...

... I'm rambling... I should sleep :)

Fun meeting new people...

I'd forgotten what it was like to meet new, fun people... I got to meet Vicky, Karen's friend last night @ Donalds and that was fun. I gotta make it a point to meet fun, new people more often :D

On a side note, am going to be freer than usual these coming nights... so if any of you feel like doing something (esp if it's in the city), give me a hoi hoi... might see a movie tonight @ cheap-Monday-Nova...

Pick-me-ups...

Woke up felt, completely down and depressed... then the arvo came, and mikey and est proceed to cheer me up with their random banter! Here's a "rahaha" to good friends!

Weekend lowdown...

Common misconception: retreat over the weekend was a holiday... noooooooooo...

I mean, it was good and fun and all, but it was quite a working weekend - it wasn't just the resies and staff that went up, but for the 10 x Urban Seeders, there were also about 15-20 transitory people (homeless, unemployed, recovering drug users, etc), which was the whole point of the retreat, to give people opportunities that they might not normally have.

Sleeping in a cabin with two loud snorers and a sleep-talker, playing ping pong, going on long walks with magnificent views, seeing the new growth over the fireburnt forests, learning that to deal with an epileptic case is to sing and play guitar for them in the shower, learning how responsive the police in the region are to calls, sharing an aussie bbq with english girls and driving the four hours home, half asleep...

I think that just about sums it up... will get photos up when I get them off my cam...

There's so much to do... and so much to do...

Not that I even have that much time that I can spare to be here, but I've also realised that this is one of the only ways my family and those close to me know what I'm doing...

In brief, I'm off to Credo Retreat (we're going to Halls Gap, Grampians) tomorrow arvo, back on Sunday evening, just so you guys know that I'm not lying in a gutter unconscious somewhere :P

Credo Retreat is where we, the staff, organised a getaway for those who come to lunch - when you don't have much, you don't have many holidaying options. We'll be heading up with about 10 staff and 25 lunchers...

The last week or so has been extremely busy with preparations, and uni work. Today for example, I'd felt pretty pleased after allocating every single minute of my day to necessary and urgent tasks (breaks? what are they?) when a situation with a girl needing crisis accommodation suddenly came up - a huge example of the interrupt-ability of a resie life :S I'm sure glad there's five of us...

Take care, those few nate-blog readers, and I'll update when I return :)

Always learning...

... it really is funny, how the more you learn, the more you realise how little you know :)

I'm lucky enough to have someone as travelled as Uncle TT as a mentor, and this is an excerpt from one of my correspondance e-mails:

"... there isn't a week that goes by where I'm not stretched, and not forced to dig deeper into God for strength. Am still learning so much about the ministry of reaching those in need, and realising that the bigger and more exciting things that happen here, such as diffusing fights on the street, are just as important as chopping the vegetables for every lunch, or sweeping the floors."

What to say...

... like my sis, it's a bit contradicting, but haven't been here for awhile because a lot has happened...

... some of the stuff, I was uncomfortable with sharing to all. But nonetheless, here I am once again.

It's a bit funny, because the way I open up to people, is slowly, cautiously... and I have a feeling that it'll be the same as my blog. That the posts will be a little less personal, until post by post, me and blog-gy are close enough again...

But, with every journey of a thousand steps (do I sound wise??? :P), here's me taking the first one... oh, and hi to all, esp those I haven't seen in awhile :)

Zzzzz... *honk*...

Another story to add to my collection :S

Just came back from downstairs (laneway), where we (me, ray, chris and 'nomes) foiled a robbery :P

I'd gone to sleep early, since about 9, when I was woken by a honk... and the scurrying of resies...

"what's going on...???" "They're in Rays car..." ":S"

Ray had left her car in the laneway for the last couple of days, and there were now people in it - so four resies dazed from slumber wandered down, not quite knowing what they'd do...

By the time we'd gotten there, there were two users left (caught a glimpse of other people walking down the laneway), going through their bag looking for something... we just asked if things were ok, and if they needed a hand with anything...

The mentioned something about being ripped by someone (heroin dealer), asked if we had any freshies (not so shocking to me now, in the span of two weeks :S) and after a bit more, they wandered away down the laneway...

Rays car was fine, as much as we could tell tonight anyways - they'd (the users) left the doors unlocked, and there wasn't anything to steal...

So four resies wandered back upstairs in their PJs

:S

Just when I thought I'm good with the whole working around syringes thing, I get to see the whole process of getting three caps of heroin into ya... cutting it out of the weird bizar waterballoon things, drawing the liquid out... mixing... tapping out all the bubbles... and then the injecting... in broad daylight...

I was sitting in the laneway with two other ex-users, who are good friends, and it was so good to have them there - I felt safe-ish.

I know I'm here working with this stuff, and all, but it's still a little freaky and confronting when it happens on the floor in front of you...

Not to mention...

... when I woke up @ 7pm (Sat), I got up, made myself human with a shower and cleaned up my room...

Christop (fellow resie @ Urban Seed) was filling in for the education team, and was the tour guide for a Christian group of Young Adults from Bayswater @ 8:30pm - I thought I'd tag along, for moral support, Chris is a really good guy.

So we're there, just sitting on the steps with this group, introducing everyone... when a girl, when it came to her turn, that looked so familiar, pointed her finger at me with her mouth open, going "I KNOW you!!"...

T'was Judith!! Judith Briscoe, who'd been @ ACF oh-so long ago... it was just bizar :S

At the end of the city walk, I caught her for a few minutes, and she said she was doing well, with a son (name's "Kylam"?) of age one and her partner Adam (?).

She sends a shout-out also, to those who remember her from her ACF days :)

God has a pretty whack sense of destiny...

... or at least, an bizar sense of humour :S

Just came back from a night @ Boulevard, which was pretty good - a great way to unwind after a mega-stressful week.

Ami and the girls offered me a lift back, which I declined; I figured the walk will do me good, and the weather wasn't too bad.

I walked back along St Kilda Rd... past the National Gallery, with the serene, oh-so-still water in front of it... there was no one around, so it was quiet-ish, it was a really nice way to end a night, I found myself thinking.

Crossed the road @ Flinders, was walking towards Macca's where @ 4:15ish in the morning, I recognised Sheree, pacing around outside McD's, with a mob of other assorted street people.

I stopped to say hello, but she was pretty tense - her friend had gotten stabbed by someone else she was fairly close to, and whilst she was able to talk to me, she obviously hadn't been having a good time lately.

Then some guy came along, some guy that appeared to be middle-class, and started trying to be funny with the bunch, was pretty obviously drunk.

Sheree didn't have much tolerance - she fully started verbally telling him to get lost. This girl, who was 30ish, had been on the streets since forever, and been through more things than I will take the liberty to write here, and tough as nails, like fully, was not about to back down.

And there I was, right in between a bunch of people that have some of the hardest lives in Melbourne, and some drunk idiot.

I've had no experience in this, really. I've been taught things like the 7 laws of the learner, have led cell groups, be preached @ for umpteen years. But where I was? That was real... that was in your face, and that was (in my head) "Nathan, so what are you going to do NOW. This ain't a group of affluent asian kids, you ain't know nothing"

I put myself between the two, my arm around the drunk idiot and said "mate, let's take a walk". He kept going on about being able to take on all of the, kept posturing, and I kept asking what his name was...

After a few attempts, I walked with him down the street, where a distance on he wanted to head off, and he did.

I walked halfway back to Sheree, stopped outside the Commonwealth Bank, and just softly bashed my head backwards onto the wall.

Walked back to Sheree, she told me, tensely, but as a friend, that she wasn't in the mood to talk given the stabbing, etc, and I told her that's fine, she should do what she needs to do, that I just wanted to say hello, and that I was going to head back then.

I dunno God... it's like you really don't want me to be bored, huh...

Sometimes, you just gotta laugh... or cry...

Last night, before I settled down to study @ about 2am, I was down in the laneway - two guys came up and were asking from some "freshies", and I wasn't quite sure what they meant. After talking to them for a bit, by the fluorescent light of the laneway, I'd learnt that one of them (an aboriginal) was just out of jail, and really hating life... both of them re-iterating that life in jail was so much better, like a holiday?!

I asked if he'd be able to make do without a "freshie", and he told me he had just gone through the laneway bin and found a used one - at that point I realised it was a clean syringe he was after, and had just pulled out of the bin one that had been used.

We're not an injecting house or anything (well, in Vic they don't exist), so we aren't able to carry fresh syringes, but after that, I almost wished we did...

Chatted for a bit more, then went upstairs to study... just shaking my head @ the bizar-ness of my life...

Woo hoo!!

After a test on Sunday, 2000 word essay for Tuesday, a test on Wednesday, reports by Thursday night, and a test this morning (Sat), I'm DONE for mid-semester!!

ALL this along with my regular Urban Seed duties too :S

Finished the test @ 10:30am this morning, came home and slept till 7pm :D Feels good to be semi-alive again, that's for sure...

Ah well...

Looks like Piano Stories will have to wait for another time - Mikey & other's are going to be working the ACF Easter play, and it won't nearly be the same without them, so here's hanging out for a Piano Stories IV...

Take note all who like Final Fantasy, Studio Ghibli and piano...

This is mostly for Mikey, but I'm soooo interested in going to this...

"Piano Stories returns in this third performance on the Saturday the 15th of April in Melbourne, and Saturday the 22nd of April in Sydney. Featuring music from the Final Fantasy"! series and Studio Ghibli films including Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away, performed by acclaimed pianist Alexey Yemtsov. Also making an appearance will be the well sought-after violinists Hiroaki Yura and Ayako Ishikawa. So be quick as Piano Stories is always a fast-selling popular concert."

For those who are likewise interested, let me know so we can arrange tix!!
RSVP: Wed 5/4/06
Contact: leung.nathan@gmail.com or 0421286283 or just leave a comment on this post
Prices: About $30 for concession and $35 for Adults

wed night pt2...

After dropping ami off @ Flinders St Station, I wandered down to Rosies (the St Vinny's van, that stops a little further down Flinders St) to hang out with some of my street friends, also bumping into the other resies :P

We all just hung out there till late, hung around talking - debating the use of mobile phones with eco, or what ned had learnt about hell that night @ a church service he went to before hand - it was really good, the weather was good for it (not too hot or cold), the environment offered no props for pretension (I mean, it's the steps of the station :P) and there were quality people.

The thought that struck me then though, developed as I saw the Saint Vinny's van pull away... that as a person that was still there with the street, even though these great hearted people (the Saint V's volunteers) came down to share a coffee with everyone there, they were still them, and there is still a time where they pack up and leave, and return to their own world.

As much as Urban Seed is probably more emersed in street culture, than other service providers, where we intentionally go into places and join community, it struck me that we are still the same - @ the end of the night, we return to our own worlds, we leave our street friends behind.

Maybe Jesus did the same, empowering those on Earth and then returning to heaven, or maintaining a divinity and humanity @ the same time, but both quite distinct (?)...

Balancing, struggling with our faith questions... Brent (my urban seed mentor) tells me it's a good thing, it keeps us from being apathetic, complacent... but it sure does make you frown a lot (i.e. in thought) :P

and a bumper Wed night too...

Even though the Festival Melbourne is over, Next Wave continues...

Finished up class, had something to eat, and then me and ami checked out a night exhibition @ the Old Melbourne Gaol...

Free, and mostly darkened out, they give you a torch to tour around, with each cell containing an artists work - was a very surreal experience, as it was very much like being part of a scary movie with trick rooms, or even an old Sierra style detective game - there weren't many people there either, so you'd walk into a room, no, a prison CELL by yourselves with minimal light and sometimes an eerie soundtrack... "Nathan has walked into a darkened room, where a portrait of the deceased looks down on him - he notices something shiny on the floor"... or it's a scene where the hero is discovering a hidden hoo doo room, deep in the dark attic, where you're screaming in your cinema seat for him to "get the f@$$ out of there"...

The kicker (and screamer) was the exhibition that used the PADDED cell - this is one sick (no, not in the COOL moniker sense) room :S Padded ALL around (stained pads, not your nice, sterile types), from floor to roof, there's NO light, except for your torch, and the sound of soft static... the door is also closed for each playing - the static crescendos into some loud, thundering... something, I can't remember, cuz we was trying to get the hell out of there @ that point... *heart beating fast again*...

But yup, if you're game, definitely recommended - starts @ 8pm, and did I mention it was free? :P

Arghhh...

I've been procrastinating since forever about updating this, and so I'm finally going to do it!!

I wish I'd done it sooner, and been able to put more detail, but in short, since the last post, I'd been to a gay bar in Frankston, done copious amounts of festival melbourne, some good, some not so good, went to the boxing, finished a months-long project web site, drove to sydney & back within 24hrs... I think that's it...

Here's a few photos of my travels... and there are more on my flickr (the "nates photos" link on the right)...

Fit for Scrap...

It's weird the things you realise when you blog... the stuff @ Urban Seed is so normal to me now, duties and the intwining rich friendships, that I don't blog about it anymore :P

Last night me and amoi went down to the Alexandria Gardens to check out, well other things (she'd misread her timetable). We ended up in front of a stage with what started out as a small crowd of people for a group called Scrap Arts Music.

They started out @ about 10pm, so I wasn't surprised that there weren't that many there, but boy was it good :D A group that made music from bits and pieces of junk, they were not only melodic and fantasically rhythmic, but funnily dramatic in performance too. It was something I would have paid good money to have seen, it was that good, that different.

And the small crowd worked for me too... it was like our own special performance, our own secret that we found, in the corner of the Gardens, which also looked fantastic @ night.

Walking back through the Gardens was amazing too - beautifully lit and decorated, with the city skyline looming just behind it, I felt like a tourist on holiday.

Gonna get pics from amoi to add to these posts...

If you're going to see the games at all...

... come and see CLEAN - a friend of ours @ Urban Seed was involved in the project, Nick Low (no, he's from NZ, not azn or from COC :P)

"From 15 March- 2 April 2006, CLEAN takes the roar of the crowd, the breathless excitement of victorious athletes and the sparkling spokespersons' speeches out of their official context - and hides them amongst the bins and cobbles of one of Melbourne's best-known laneways, Hosier Lane. A cluster of hidden speakers will celebrate the stories of the homeless, embarrassing doping scandals, fierce protests and the drunken revelry of tourists alongside sound-bites, speeches and anthems."

Wow, what a show...

Being @ Urban Seed has me also acknowledging that the Commonwealth Games is not all glamour and fun - a lot of the street people are being hastled by police, and all indications are, contrary to the official line, that they aren't welcome in Melbourne during the games.

But I went down with amoi to the Yarra this evening to see some big dancing fish, and wow...

We followed the baton down the river until it got to Ron Barassi and his little walk on water, and all the way through, the amount of people the lights/sound/stuff was pretty amazing.

And when we thought we'd had enough, and decided to start walking back down a road that we thought would be quieter and away from the river, the closing fireworks happened EVERYWHERE... and it turns out we were in the best place to see them all - we were right in the middle of the Yarra, the MCG and the city, surrounded by explosions of light and sound coming from each place, with not many people around us.

Was awfully, spontaneously romantic - not a bad way to end a Wednesday night :)

cheap phones...

This arvo, audioamoi came down, and we went out to look @ prices for a mobile phone (namely, a Samsung e730) around the city. She'd gotten an initial price of *best price* of $550 (from a RRP of 649) in Springvale, but we'd found an even better price of $499 from Organiser World (one of the sites I like to frequent :P).

So we figured we'd bounce around to all these other stores, sure that an asian store must be able to do a *best price* of better... and store after store, we would keep getting that $550 was the best price :S

After all that field work, we figured we'd go down to Organiser World (near Latrobe and Elizabeth) and have a squiz - and to our amazement got a further 50 off the price, for a brand new, sealed, aus spec model, bringing it down to $449, more than 100 off the *best price* the asian stores could do, and with no surcharge for Visa...

It's just a bit bizar to me, when the place to buy the cheapest electronics isn't asian...and a bit mind boggling the difference in prices :S A two HUNDRED differential from RRP... sheesh... that ain't chicken feed...

Food for thought... and possibly for the heart

For Christian groups, the tour uses Mark's Gospel as a "map" for participants as they are taken on a tour of Collins Street Baptist Church and the surrounding city. The aim of this walk is to help participants think about the message of Mark's Gospel in a modern, urban context, and to provide an encounter with the city that provokes discussion about what it means to be a Christian in today's society.

For more information call Marcus Curnow on 9663 0699 or email marcus.curnow@urbanseed.org - or you could just call me :)

"What is church if it does not include people at the margins of our society?"

"There is a subtle, yet profound difference between these two questions. The first asks how church can be constructed for a different group of people. The second asks how a group of people, including me, can develop a sense of church."

Being Intentional

I guess the Games are here soon - I came home last night down the laneway as usual to find 10 policemen @ the backdoor :S Wonder what they thought... some little asian guy in bike gear walking down a darkened alley towards them :P

The weekend wasn't a bad one, went to birthday shing on Friday night and ended up staying the night @ the parents. Went to Life Expedition on Sunday morning (it still boggles me how people can get up for morning services...) and just did nothing in particular for arvo into today :)

The title of this post? I caught myself thinking this morning that I was doing well in keeping things under control, when it hit me that that was not the way I wanted to do things.

Had been thinking about the week ahead, with uni and Urban Seed and all, and thinking that yeah, it was all roughly there, no sweat.

But I don't want to get to the end of the year like that!! Like the parable of the servants and the talents, I don't want to be the servant that hid his talent, and just got by.

I'm lucky, to be in places where I have chances to shine and make life - in uni, I have the chance to do as well as I want to academically, with Urban Seed I have the chance to really do get into somethings that are socially impacting.

I don't want to be an ordinary colleague, student, boyfriend, brother or son. I don't want to get to 2007 and just say yeah, I got by.

:P

Guess that also means my lunch break (literally) is over... back to work...

Tuesdays are killer...

Wake up for market shop (where we get all the credo incredients for the week from the Queen Vic) @ 8am, then unload it all by which it's 10 - back up to the room to unmess it, then back down for Gathering @ 11am, lunch @ 12-1, and then we got back from the cricket (credo vs PriceWaterhouseCoopers), which was 2-3, and now off to staff prayers @ the Den (little bourke)!!

After which I have uni from 5:30-7:30, and then a planning meeting with the other resi's when I get back... I think I'm going to be sleeping really early tonight...

Signed on to leave this post, a shout out to Jo who just got back, and to an audioamoi who I saw lurking in the woods...

*running off to prayers*...

Please pray...

... for my grandma, who isn't feeling too well, and for journey mercies for my lil sis Jo, who's due back this Tuesday :)

It's always good to catch up with old friends :)

Finally made it to Elaine & Donald's birthday bash, which turned out to be not so bad :P But the highlight of the night for me, and the reason why I stuck around, was to be able catch up with some of my really good, old friends.

Although I didn't get a chance to do so with all of them, it was good nonetheless to touch base again with Wes, and give Karen an ahoy! Was good to see all of you again, and to see you all cheery and doing well :)

Pit stopping...

@ my parents place, enroute to Elaine and Donald's birthday bash :) Burning a few DVDs, and have finally found myself with some time to blog!!

Last w/end I was hoping for @ least a calm Sunday arvo, but that didn't even eventuate either, and Saturday was huge for me, in terms of physical movement. I went from the city, to Neerim South to visit the Evermore Retreat, then from Neerim South to Mordiallic for Mikey's birthday!! I'd probably spent nearly 4-5 hours just sitting on my bike... needless to say, my body ached for the next few days :( Was only on Thurs that I could go swimming again...





After Mikey's Birthday, I made an early-ish exit due to being mega tired, but decided to swing by the Flinders Street Station steps to see if any of the people from credo were there, and I ended up hanging out with a whole street crew from 10:30pm-12:30am.

Was a bit daunting, as I came to realise that although we see a big number of street people @ credo, that there were so many more out there! But it was fun at the same time, as just like any other community of people, they were there hanging out, looking after one another, and more importantly, not minding me being there :P