I've just come from Ps Teoh's funeral, picking up my things to head back into the city - it's time... to go home
And I'm upset. With myself, and if I'm honest, a bit with God
I mean, what the hell?! I never got to know Ps Teoh or his family that well being in different congregations, so I have no right to feel as sad as I do. I have no right to be crying over a man I barely knew, and for a family I never made an effort to get to know
What the HELL gives me the right to live this long?! WHY am I still here, when Gene has to go, when Ps Teoh is called back... when they had still so much good stuff to live. I don't have any kids that I actually treasure, I've already lived a blessed life...
In the last 7 days I got to be in someone's bridal party, I got to see a beautiful baptism - why the HELL am I so blessed
Why... why... why am I still crying... what right do I have... to cry
If someone comments to this post with a Christian cliche, I will so get angry - don't
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4 comments:
The whole way to work I kept thinking....its always the good ones....its always the good ones.
And I agree with you, where I hate the fact that it takes death to give us yet ANOTHER wake up call.
Here if you need to talk...
I'll have seen you by the time you read this.
It's not always the good ones. It's not always the bad ones. Death just happens. I doubt Pastor Teoh is sad about it. I sincerely doubt it.
i'm glad i got to see you last Monday... I hope you enjoyed our time together. Just wanted to say thanks for spending time with me.. your friendship means heaps. It was fun pretending to not have any care in the world for a moment there while eating gelati and browsing in the lolly store only to buy a buck worth of lollies :o) And the bread run was really cool. (And Mikey, your friendship means heaps too. You make me laugh haha)
Its a fallen world. Shit happens I'm afraid. Its the truth. Couples divorce each other. Happily married couples are seperated due to misfortune. Crops fail. People starve to death. Corruption exists, esp. in the UN. Look at all the Christians who got martyred, and who are still being killed, tortured for their faith. But we still go on. Somehow we just try and make things better.
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