ok it's official...

i have a bloody brilliant gf :o

There are many things that have happened recently (i.e. wedding & some torrid late, late nights), and will blog about them (later), but this one simply can't wait

About a month ago, viki asked me to keep tonight free; I checked my diary, saw it as free, and booked it in... she wouldn't tell me what, just told me to keep it free

I got to her place after a long, tiring day @ work, and almost near dead exhaustion (only marginally exaggerating), change clothes, and jump back into the car; she tells me where to go, and so we head there, me still not having the foggiest of the itenary of the night...

I find out just as we're entering the main auditorium that she's bought us tix to go see the LIVE production of...


I still can't believe it... and my face is still sore from all the laughing I did tonight... :D Just so blown away by the gesture... and feel, after what's seemed like an infinite period of weariness, undeservedly blessed :)

Read objectively, if you dare...

"Getting zapped by God and shooting up heroin are very, very closely related"

nate's notes

“However, that personal God is never private. Restricting God to private space was the great heresy of the twentieth-century American evangelicalism. Denying the public God is a denial of biblical faith itself, a rejection of the prophets, the apostles, and Jesus himself. Exclusively private faith degenerates into a narrow religion, excessively preoccupied with individual and sexual morality whilst almost oblivious to the biblical demands for public justice. In the end, private faith becomes a merely cultural religion providing the assurance of righteousness for people just like us.”

nate's thoughts: whoa... is it wrong to immediately think that this scarily resembles the church I go to? Hehehehe... will I get expelled for daring to ask if that link exists? :P

But, more importantly than me pointing fingers, what are the implications of this passage for me?

One of the things I took away from last year is the active reconciling of faith and action; of action that goes beyond private institution and into the world, but hand in hand with a faith that compels and inspires it

This year was always going to be a stretching one for me; what does life look like after Urban Seed; how will I hang what the bible asks of us as socially responsible Christians, together with a life that naturally is me?

nate's notes

p34

“The lesson is this: God is personal, but never private. If God is not personal, there is little meaning to faith. It merely becomes a philosophy or a set of teachings from religious figures who died long ago. Without a personal God, there is no personal dimension to belief. There is no relationship to transformation without a personal God, and no power that can really change our lives beyond mere self-improvement.”

nate’s thoughts: Passages like this show me that the author IS being relatively measured in his approach; neither taking a partisan side (i.e. left vs. right). It also challenges me; is the God I subscribe too, and choose to orientate my life to, is He my personal God also?

To find that balance where God is not simply a super-side kick that we can command around or ask to do things for us, but to also not live in the other extreme where it can be just acts, even if socially engaging and impacting, without a personal faith at the core of it all... I find this so hard to do... but the constant search for this balance keeps my faith alive, vibrant and real... it is painfully and annoyingly lifting :P

nate's notes

God’s Politics
- Jim Wallis, p33

“It was my mother’s admonitions that became the first building blocks for my emerging social conscience. Phyllis Wallis told her children to always do two things. First, if there is a child that nobody else will play with, you play with him or her, she ordered. It was like a rule of play for us – nobody gets left out. Second, if there is a bully who is picking on other people, you stand up for them, she courageously commanded. Virtually all my fights in school were with bullies.”

nate's thoughts: In the day and age of people raising their kids to be ahead of the curve, to be near or at the top of the class, to get ahead of life, there is an incredible homely resonance for me with this passage... the emphasis of others in an implicit acknowledgement of taking care of the wealth we have in the people we have around us, not in a charitable act of pity, but in a natural orientation of life... when I start to think along these lines, things make sense, life starts to make sense again for me, and becomes incredibly simple, significantly stress-less (I mean, what’s usually causing me stress? Usually material wants and needs!), and joyful, because I once again realise the riches I have are not what I own, but those around me

nate's rants...

Have decided to start posting personal notes and reflections as I go through the book "God's Politics"; I realise it's probably not going to be as interesting to readers as BGR controversy, but like those thoughts, these are some that are close to my heart :)

nate does requests...?!

Nah, nah... as requested, here's a pic of me and viki... aren't I purdy... NOT... she's pretty hot though :D

Ah, crap-on-a-stick...

... I got through to the 2nd round :( Good news you might think? No!! First of all, it means the not-getting-rejected uncertainty continues for at least another week, and secondly, the longer it goes for, the more I'll be disappointed by the eventual rejection... bleh :(

I don’t want to have to handle the possibility of earning more money that’ll be harder for me to give away/donate, I don’t want to have the temptation of “comfort” or start to value a person’s job and what they do (status and position), I want to stay happy with what I have, and a simple life… and in that Mikey, I’m the bigger coward

And please guys… don’t comment with things like “I’m sure you’ll be fine”, because I’m working really hard to keep life in this perspective!! I really don’t want to turn into a person that invests and hopes so much on a job that it starts to verge anywhere near my usual ecstasy over a solitary movie date, and a packet of lollies

Waiting for rejection :)

Yesterday was killer, so much to do, so little sleep... and I think I really screwed up the interview too; not sure if it's because of how badly I did, and now I'm being a child about it, but I came out not feeling particularly great about the job, I came out with a pretty uncomfortable vibe; the cold metallic lift ride down, with a screen showing stock prices served to remind me of what such a job would entail, and the trappings of which I'd have to confine myself to if I was to embrace such a direction... yech...

So I'm kinda hoping that they'll give me a call this arvo to "thank me for coming in, but yeah, no thanks", so that I can just close that chapter, not have to pretend to be obsessed with corporate life and success, and after a good nights sleep tonight, enjoy the sunny, sunny weekend!! It'll be t-shirts and shorts riding weather for sure...

Some words from Timbo Costa...

"Over this last weekend I preached four times in Adelaide churches. The largest gathering was at the Edge, a Pentecostal church with an estimated 5,000 members. It was held in a huge sports stadium. The church has taken the lead in renovating an entire wing of the Royal Women’s and Children’s Hospital in Adelaide. They have also done wonderful work at some dilapidated high schools close to their area. They are deeply involved in community transformation particularly on behalf of the poor. I was deeply impressed by their work and commitment. The test of the success of their ministry was not how many people were in the church but what impact they had on ensuring their community was healthy. A fine test to apply and to pass. As the pastor said to me his personal revelation was in reading the New Testament and finding that not one of Jesus’ miracles was performed within a church or sanctuary – all of them were out there in the wider community. That is where God is at work and where this church wants to act."

crush (krŭsh); v. crushed, crush·ing, crush·es

I seem to pick up a few things in my travels, and there are a few things that seem to be almost consistently common; i.e. people bemoaning a lack of romance in their lives (refer to below), as well as another weird phenomena, an incredible proportion of people maintaining or cultivating ‘crushes’

If I think back over the last couple of years, I can’t actually recall personally maintaining unresolved crushes for an extended period of time; the closest I could possibly relate to one over that period would be coming out of an encounter with someone, wondering why it was so, so fun, blog about it; as soon as I’d hit the “Publish” button, I’d then read over my literary piece, pat myself on the back, and then just get on with the rest of my life…

Maybe it was cuz I was blessed with incredibly close and intense friendship groups (blog squad, resies) that I never felt a dearth of relationship in the brief periods of singleness, I never really felt that I was missing anything in particular. You can read through my previous posts, I think I’m actually pretty consistent in that too, and not just spouting this off now…

Chasing God, and jumping into all the bizarre places He had for me was simply exhilarating; and together with Mikey, my family and misc friends, I really found myself lacking in nothing, life was amazingly rich

Which is why everytime I hear of unresolved (or unresolving) ‘crushes’, I have to admit, I’ve always failed to understand why they’re there…

Is it because people aren’t blessed with a similar caliber of friends? Is it because we’re subliminally indoctrinated that we need a partner to make us whole?

What confuses me even more is the sheer volume of those people with crushes that are waiting for that someone to come into their lives to share their love with, when there is an entire world going largely unloved by us; are we loving the poor, the neglected, those at the margins, wherever that may be in your context?

Do we walk by the beggars outside the Maccas, cnr of Swanston/Lonsdale?

Do we only concern ourselves with the friends we “like”, or are like “us”?

Do we really care about our friends, or are they just social circles for our own convenience?

Do we say me first, and then wonder why someone isn’t saying you first?

Are we still waiting for God to “gift” us with that one person, and only then we’ll take that risk to “love” someone?

Loving people, is the most dangerous, most painful and the greatest thing we can ever do; and the very nature of love, is that it’s not what we can get, but what we give; exercise your heart, by making your life a natural orientation of love to the people around you in ALL contexts, now!!

Spiritual warfare isn't going to work as one prayer you say in six months that coincides with the exam you're sitting in five minutes, having an exquisite upper torso isn't something that just appears once it's summer and love isn't something you'll just be able to turn on; it'll come out, like the torso, weird, ineffective and... fat??? :P Rather than poignant, touching, meaningful and relevant.

Exercise your heart, so when that one person someday enters your world, and you wake up to find yourself in relationship, you can then love that person with a big, strong heart :)

"sleep"? What's that?

Arggghhh… not only did I stay up till 4am working on a personal craft project, waking up @ 7:45am to still only get to work @ 9:10am, but I also have to ride into the city from work (with no break in between), somehow appear cognitive and awake for what will be a tough interview AND I’ve just checked the weather and it’s forecasting showers and possible THUNDERSTORMS for this afternoon

Great, just great… I finally catch up on all my sleep on Sunday, only to have a day like today (or the next few days for that matter)…

I’ll be fine… I just need to have this rant… *sigh*…

ro·mance (rō-māns', rō'māns')

I come across a lot of people in my travels, of both single and attached varieties, complaining of a lack of romance in their lives; and no, I don't frequent singles bars, and as far as I can tell, the topic does not seem to be mutually exclusive to the social circles you might think I'm referring to (you know who you are!!)

Guys complaining about not knowing what to do, and how unfair that the onus is on them; girls complaining that guys just have no clue...

And whilst I find it fun sometimes to jump into light conversation on the idiosynchrosies that occur in the various realms of interactivity between genders (an intellectual way of saying "I'm from COC" or, "BGR"), it admittedly does frustrate me quite a bit

No, I'm not writing this with any ONE criminal in mind, I'm writing this with ALL of you in mind :P

Romance, like joy, is not a fleeting feeling, but a conscious state of mind, it's a life attitude; It is up to YOU to make a conscious decision to make your life romantic :)

Not that the Left are the best in everything, but charismatics have a tendency to just let life happen, perhaps to an extreme, and then just lament that it does; God is sovereign yes, and there ARE seasons of waiting, but there are also seasons to murder... whoops, I mean, do stuff :P God, an incredibly creative being, gave us all brains (then again, if you're reading this blog, you probably have a pretty small one :P) and surrounds us EVERY day with inspiration; how much of these talents, these gifts, of nature and our environments do we "bury"?

And don't try and counter with "but natey, it's easy for you because you already have someone"; ask anyone around me, even in the periods of singleness (yes yes ange / mikey, however brief they may be :P), I DO romantic things; it's who I am, it's who I enjoy being

I watch soppy movies (by myself), I skate along the beach, I go to dance classes... etc, etc...

I'm romantic to my close friends; a little extra thought can turn a present of coasters into the surprise of a thoughtful, relevant gift; a hug here, lotsa hugs there... well, ok, whilst I'm usually giving them, I'm having heaps of fun for me with them too :P

LOVE who you are, and in a world that teaches how to achieve your own goals, to look after your own self, be passionate about the people around you; it is who I am now, and the only way I want to live

Daring to be different? Or am I just retarded :P

Well, let's see what the week might look like... hmm...

Tues night, going to do all I can to FINALLY make it to a hip hop class! There are several things I entered 2007 with the hopes of developing, and the continuance in the search for co-ordination was one I'd decided on early, early on; I WILL be an ok dancer! I will!! If any are interested in joining me in convulsive epileptical fits, it's $17for60mins@DanceFactory@Richmond@7pm...

the being different part would be the going to see miss potter @ 9:40pm @ glenny... most are going to see happyness @ 9:10pm, but me, me, I'm seeing peter rabbit... :S Am just not a big fan of seeing movies with lotsa, lotsa people... that said, knowing that lotsa, lotsa people don't read this blog, any of u r more than welcome... but not if u bring lotsa, lotsa people...

Wed night - sk8er punking the streets of g'wavery...

Thurs night - midsummer's night dream production in the botanical gardens; have gotten tickets, it's gonna be 28degrees&fine, gonna prepare a picnic, am going with the hottest girl in the world, and she happens to be mine... it's going to be the best Thurs EVA...

Fri night - appears to be rock clambering at this point in time, with details still being fleshed out...

Lettuce know (get it, "lettuce"? "lettuce" = "let us"??? :D) if ur in the areas on any of these nights (EXCEPT THURS!! NO one call me THURS night!!); u know the drill, u know the number ;)

Oz day :)

Going to skip the temptation to just blog about everything that happened over the w'end, but to instead just note down some of the stuff that made my weekend pretty unforgettable :D

... a beach day, a summer day, but all the more brilliant in the way it capped off by watching Talladega Nights with Mikey, a few assorted others & a 'particular' girl... beer in a bottle... just brilliant...

... a night in the botanical gardens, fending off waves & waves of cute possum attacks, using nothing but bottles of mt franklin & a picnic rug... priceless...

... a random church visit, the bumpage of a dear, dear 'nome and a night talking, snuggling, & barely watching the tennis :)

... the memories of the w/end blessed... yeah... that's an amazing amount of inspiration that will get me through this week :D

snapshots of the week in passing...

When the going gets rough...

In light of all the recent postings on blogs that I frequent, I've decided to dedicate this post to all those going through a really, rough time, whether it'd be about work, finances, unrequited love, people not understanding you, or broken cameras...

Little Miss Sunshine was recently nominated for 4 Academy Awards; yet, when it first came out, I only knew of it because of christop, and likewise no one else in my other friendship circles were aware of it either

And in the age of movies with production budgets of $200-$300 million, this one was completed for $8 million

I don't know much, and in full awareness of it, I won't claim any sort of authority about what I think, but here are some thoughts, and I hope they might perhaps help u to see even a sliver of light @ the end of the tunnel

LMS had heaps of witty quotes, but one particulary apt, for the rough times that I had personally been through

Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap- high school and everything- just skip it.

Frank: You know Marcel Proust?

Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.

Frank: Yeah. French writer.

Total loser.

Never had a real job.

Unrequited love affairs.

Gay.

Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare.

Anyway, he uh- he gets down to the end of his life...and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered-Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was.

All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing.

So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school- Those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.

---

To throw a little christianese (this is for you karen, sue; mikey should prob cover his ears...) into the fray, David doesn't become David without a Goliath :)

I've been through a lot the last couple of years, have seen a lot, and they've ALL conspired to make me who I am today

And even in light of the failures and anguish I've endured, I wouldn't have it any other way :)

Trivia: In case you were wondering, Proust really did exist, and really is a significant literary figure...

sk8er bois

... and I should get that half-a-night tonight, hopefully! The evening part will be spent grinding on ferraris and lambos in the Glen carpark with mikey-destroyer-of-the-world; if any1 else is up 4 being a sk8er punk, or going to be in the area, give us a shout out... just don't run us over, yeah... even if it's ur ferrari we're jumping off... :P

Geez... slow down Nate :P

Hahahahahaha... after a year or so of learning to be intentional and to, in the midst of a bustling world, slow down, I still found myself trying to figure out if I should go to hip hop class, clean my room, see a movie... trying to figure out what's important to me, what to build into my life as a regular rhythm...

In the end, I stayed @ home and continued cleaning... and it felt good to be @ home, continuing to get the very basic foundations (my room!!) right :) To settle 1 thing @ a time, esp in light of what's shaping up to be a busy long weekend, rather than have a billion things up in the air at the same time :P

As for my room, it's almost there!! Another half a night, and I think it should be just right...

noooooooo... it's mooooooonnnnnddaaaayyyy...

... thank goodness I'm already half way through the day; sooooo buggered from the w/end - like LC, am similarly looking forward to a night of lazing around @ home (& cleaning my room :D); feel like I've chronicled the week & w/end in passing in adequate detail, minus the all important juicy details, but hey, I need to keep some secrets, don't I :P

Time to get back to work, & get back to helping world vision help others help make this world a better place...

... continued...

Fri night or Sat morn:
Either ikea shopping or bibi-birthday-present shopping (if one happens on fri, then the other will happen on sat morn) - this could probably evolve into a kick-on to the city (as ikea is in richmond), movie or at the very least, vietnamese food!! Let's see how this one mutates as we get closer to the night :P

This one turned out quite weirdly; a lot of people started re-responding with negative rsvps, and so by COB Fri, I had no idea who was coming :S Me and biki headed down to ikea in the dad-rav4-mobile, found a donald there and proceed to buy cool shelving :D

Due to a mix up in comms with LC, she didn't make it to tea with us (*sob, sob*) @ Thy Thy (so good!! Cheap and dirty viet, I luv it :D), and we ended up meeting Al & Karen @ Airstream afterwards :)

Sat arvo:
Bibi's birthday party :D

This was a mega day; went back to ikea in the morning (with about 5hrs of sleep) to pick up some more stuff, dropped by the Glen for bibi's present, raced home to change and unload, picked biki up an 1.5hrs later than I said would initially, and eventually found ourselves in croydon for bibi's, which was really, really nice

thoughts from bibi's... hmm... maybe call biki ahead of time to ensure we're NOT both wearing entirely matching outfits... if I give myself the time to prepare for peoples presses, maybe they'll turn out as creatively as bibi's, which I luved

the night ended up @ the parents, assembling shelving and in ikea fashion, giving names to my furniture (andy, ben and bob)... saturday was a pretty brilliant day :D

Sunday morning:
Visiting the NGV with Aloysius - both the Tezuka ($8) and sneaker exhibitions (free) are what we're after :D

Somehow this actually organised, and somehow I managed to find myself there :S Was good value, where Tezuka I'd already been to, but we were also able to catch a hip hop act there that was promo-ing for the sneaker convention, which was likewise really funky!

Notes from the weekend: Still haven't seen Dgirls OR Happyness... Had forgotten about how cool wandering around Ikea could be; might be an idea to spend a half a day there another time, just for fun and to inspire ideas; as it was, we barely made it through half way before we had to "finalise our purchases"...

so much to blog... no more time tonight :)

UPDATED

After spending the entire night blogging, resizing and uploading photos, I'm still yet to cover so much!! But in the intermission (which some call sleep), here's the week that will be:

Tuesday night:
Beginner hip hop class @ dance factory in richmond!! I can't wait, it's been ages since I attended class...

Cancelled!! Had gone home after work to change, all keen and everything, to have my lil sis call to say that the class had been cancelled due to the power outages :( Ended up @ Airstream with a bunch of people talking about how me and Al want to organise the next "networking" meeting :D

Wed night:
Skating in carparks with Mikey! Also can't wait; it's life-giving to catch up with ur best friend, and just punk to skate ;)

This one actually happened, and I have a 50c-sized bruise to show for it on my knee :P But if I ain't falling, it means I ain't jumping, and I want to jump :D Sitting out in an empty glenny carpark with ur best bud, sore ankles and all, just watching the traffic go by and the speed cameras flashing... life is pretty grand sometimes :)

Thurs night:
Rock climbing with Don!! Go, go spider nate!! For those interested, give me or Don a call, it's @ 7pm in Nunawading...

Well it didn't turn out to be just me and Don like I thought - there were quite a few people, Korea + a bunch of people I'd never met before, but that's half the fun, ain't it, meeting new people :D Well, to me at least :P It was a great night, my fingers were completely buggered and I felt pretty good to be able to get up quite a few walls on my first attempt in like 10 years (or forever?!)

Afterwards korea, don and I met up with aloysius for coffee which was a nice way to end the night... even if it DID leave me quite sleep deficient the next day :( But thanks Korea for the coffees!! You are way too sneaky... :P

To be continued...

please pray

for a close friend & his family, for his dad that's just had a heart attack - things are ok now, so pray for a full recovery, whatever that might look like in God's will :)

a faith restored :)

for most things, I think I can somewhat temper even my most optimistic projections with a good grounding of reality, except for two times of the year - when it comes to the occasions of Christmas and New Year

for what ever reason, call it child-like innocence, call it stupidity, there's simply no way I can stop myself from expecting a resonatingly magical christmas and new year

and it's because of those unstoppable expectations, every year for the last few years has been heartbreakingly disappointing; instances of waiting by myself on the street for a friend to come down from a drug high, being at home by myself in the pit of family fragmentation, to vacuous social occasions...

but who knew? Who would have guessed that '06/'07 would be the year that was different? I sure didn't... and for that reason, I was actually incredibly scared heading into it all... anticipating the extreme heartache that's accompanied each xmas/new year

it wasn't anything big that did it; xmas eve was a cold, soggy, soggy walk along the boulevarde (ivanhoe) for chrissy lights, but the company was beyond compare and to go back to their family home, sit in front of the tree and just be until it was chrissy morn was simply life warming

and to spend the large entirety of chrissy day with my family, opening presents with each other, laughing, grinning, smiling, and then extended family for dinner; there was no better way I could have scripted, for me, my magical chrissy

no, i didn't get the shiniest, most expensive present in the world (altho mum far exceeded the $30 limit for me :D), but i got my family for a day, and in the leung family world of incredible transience, that was the only present that was needed

new years eve was a vespa ride for two to a night picnic beside a lake, with a symphony of somewhat frantically mooing of cows in nearby pastures (in response to unseen-by-us fireworks) :P

and new years day was a drive-and-a-half, and a walk-and-a-half, to an isolated beach with some of my closest friends

none of these things were ritzy and glamourous... none of these things extravagently expensive... but each resonating incredibly and so soundly with the core of me, leading me to the only conclusion I could possibly come to; I'm a pretty lucky sod :P

And just like that, it's next year...

Here's to Sue who's, uh, "firm" "encouragement" has finally gotten me off my blogging butt :P

I've been lucky to have lotsa good things, & lotsa sad things, happen to me over the past month or so, and have been wanting to journal it for the longest time... guess I've just needed the right boot in the posterior...

where to start... well... guess the easy stuff first... and in short...

i finished up @ u/seed, with a credo christmas that restored my faith in christmas :) (pilfered the photo below from christop :D)



After being surrounded by the chaos of consumerism that engulfs the city over the period, to be at a bbq that celebrated intentional simplicity and relevance was perfect

That was the Thursday, 21/12/06... the very next day, straight after the h/coreness of Thurs, three days from christmas, and on a Fri, I started @ world vision as a business analyst :S which I'll prob devote a whole post to in a bit...

BOOM! He's back in the room ;)

After a hiatus of almost a month, I've finally gotten around to updating my flickr (i.e. photos) :D Click the link above or on the right for more snapshots of the past months... will try to soon get some up of my dad's 60th batch too...

Maybe I should rename this blog...

... to that of something reflecting the sobering beauty of passing seasons, something I've come to realise and been lucky enough to experience so many times during these recent years

So much has happened since my last post, so many things that have been great and that I wanted to blog about. Things like the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to, hunting rabbits and cycling, frequent airport runs and the comings and goings of my family, the offerance and subsequent rejection of jobs, the blessings of new/old friends...

... the cycle of love, lost and found, the hope of what the future might look like (and the stress of it too)...

And the sheer extreme busyness of it all, exhaustive as it may be, with nary a time to pause and blog. But above even all the amazing experiences I've had this past month, the passing weekend has been something that I simply could not let go without trying to capture in words my thoughts and heart

Have just come back from our final, resie retreat, marking the close of what has been without a doubt the most brilliant chapter of my life to date. We started the year with a resie retreat, we're seeing the ending of this fellowship with one too

We spent the night out at Sorrento, at a holiday house that was also populated with 'Nomes' family, eating greek, visiting the early closing Sorrento hotel, beaching and lazing in the sun on a verandah... each one of us slowly absorbing what will be one of the last, significant times of this year we will share as resies

There has been so much we've gone through together, so much we've all shared that goes beyond anything I could possible contain in a blog, and so much more than any human should be blessed to experience

Before we came back, we stopped at spray point... a somewhat empty point over crashing waves into rocks creating immense sprays. An unplanned stopped, we caught the setting sun... and we all sat... in quiet, wind and spray... watching the glowing, red sphere slowly dipping below the horizon... and without fanfare or much word, we all loved... appreciated... cried... in rememberance of the amazing chapter we were all blessed to have

and then there was wed-thurs-fri!!

and in one last burst, what's been up for the last couple of days!!

wed was another nothing day, which was brilliant - Vee came over later that night and we just talked and coffee'd around the kitchen and lounge all the way till 5am!! i love being young :D

thurs day i got my hair cut (in a little bit of a bizar way; i'm not sure if i should let jeff just do "whatever" again :S), the night time saw me and vee watching a documentary that had been compiled about van nguyen called "Just Punishment" - it was pretty sobering, as expected, and quite well made. i think again, it reaffirmed the sort of direction i want my life to go... in terms of actively fighting, or working, to make this world even a fraction better

afterwards me and vee had something to eat, and then went to cookie (on swanston) - on the outside it didn't look that great (had walked by it so many times), but was very cool on the inside!! the atmosphere was great... and the cocktail we tried (which we were prewarned that we would have to wait 25mins for!!) was fun as - an "absinth green fairy"

one last moment

i figured i should probably break up this post, as opposed to one ginormous one :P

tuesday night was... a little magical, and perhaps a little poignant. i spent the afternoon/evening with someone... someone that i'd had to let go of, not so long ago, and was therefore a little hesistant and unsure about what to expect of the encounter

we ended up in a tree (no, NOT kissing 8-)), in a park we'd never been too, climbing and sitting amongst the branches and talking for over 4-5 hours. having conversations about everything... watching life walk by beneath us... and in the cool of the night, the breeze rushing through the branches, moving us powerfully, but gently... closing my eyes and giving myself to the rhythmic swaying of the branch I sat on

for me... the eternal romantic of life... it was a moment. a moment, given the situation with the person, might well be the last i ever see of her, and therefore both bittersweet and harmonious - i hope that i'll be able to remember it that way... a snap shot of possible love... the hope of something special... with the grounding of the reality of it never to be

the week in passing...

i think way too much and way too seriously about questions people ask :P when people ask what i've been up to, i actually try and think about what it is i've been up to... then again... am i meant to quite easily know these things...??? i am, aren't it :S

so... here's me doing a brain dump of the week in passing... so at least somewhere there'll be something i can refer to about actually having done something :P


saturday morning/arvo found me bbq-ing on the front steps of collins street baptist - it was a really nice day to be outside and frying, even against the bizar backdrop of riot police dudes, white aterial block rampagers, and mark serenely reading the newspaper in the midst of it all...



after packing up, i rode into the 'burbs and had a quiet night with vee and darius - we watched amelie, sat around talking, whilst darius espoused (not knowing what i'd been doing that day) that protestors are worse than terrorists

sunday morning i managed to roust myself out of bed to check out the morning service @ grace church, which starts at a barnstorming time of 9:20am!! was there with vee, mikey and bibi... and we did a whole church service before 11am - 11am!! went home, pottered for a bit, and then did the acf evening version... 2xservices in one day... yup, was quite holy that sunday :P

monday? i did nothing!! which is always weird for me... after having been consistently frantic for the last few months on end, whenever i get to a break time, it can feel a little unnatural :P i ended up seeing "the prestige" @ village, knox... by myself... doing the whole movie by myself thing in knox... although the movie was a great one... i should have probably picked one with a bit more pick-me-up in it, rather than throw-self-off-building vibes :S

jedi nate!!

the week before, i'd been @ deb's birthday party, where her brother has SIX working replica light sabres!! so here's me being a pink jedi knight...

nate & the G20 Christian Collective...

came down to the office to work a bit more on the project where I bumped into Simon, one of the Seedy mob that works with the education team @ the Den - he was making rice to bring back to the encampment

i'd visited them earlier in the day, and it was a bit ironic that once upon a time I might have viewed such groups as weird and a bit eclectic, and now there i was crossing the road to the peaceful protest morever to visit my friends :P

in any case, in chatting to simon for the few moments he was here, and to the few friends I'd bumped into today, i started to hear about something about media reports... about the radio going on about the 9 or so christian protesters sitting outside the hyatt... so I did a search on the herald sun and age sites, and found this on the age:

Christian collective

G20 Christian Collective spokesperson, Reverend Simon Moyle, said about 10 of members of his group had arrived at the corner of Collins and Russell streets this morning to protest the forum at the Grand Hyatt.

"We're here because this meeting of G20 is not representative of the people it most affects," Mr Moyle said.

"We're particularly concerned about the environment. We've been excluded from (the forum) but we're here to basically ask for tickets on behalf of ... the poor ... to say these people need and deserve a ticket and a place at the table."

Mr Moyle said the group had been asked to move their tent from outside the Grand Hyatt Hotel, despite previous approval by police of the location.
"We're G20 Christian collective and we're part of a whole bunch of churches around Melbourne. We're just a concerned voice for the poor.

"We're here for 60 hours, from this morning to Sunday night and will be maintaining a constant vigil."

and here's another article by the Herald Sun: G20 Christians protest

it's funny, because simon himself was a bit bewildered by all the media attention - he'd thought that at the worst, the Police would tell them they weren't allowed there, and at best they were expecting to be largely ignored. But because they're the only group on the scene at the moment, they're the ones getting all the media airplay :S

christop is there, and is planning to be there for most of it, shunning his bed and his "visions" for the collective and the street - i'm just about to head out to finish buying the rest of the food for tomorrow's BBQ, so i might pop by and see how they're all doing out there

nate & the G20...

it's a bit surreal all the stuff that's sorta escalating seemingly out of nowhere in regards to the G20 - I say seemingly, as there've been heaps of awareness and mediatory activities, some good stuff by the Seedy mob, but me being a little slow on the uptake I'm probably only sorta getting it with the advent of so much police stuff happening at our front steps :S

it's going to be an awesome day, with heaps of events happening for you to both enjoy and be passionate about - my prayer, if any, would be for us ALL to be challenged, and pushed far beyond our comfort zones, by what God might be saying in the midst of it all

Note: I'll be @ the prayer & reflection space on the front steps of Collins Street Baptist

At 7:30am Friday morning A G20 Christian Collective will attempt to set up a "Third World and Environment Ministers Embassy" beside the barricades surrounding the Hyatt as a way of demonstrating the exclusion of the poor and other essential factors in the G20 meetings. This will begin a peaceful 60 hour non-stop vigil in solidarity with the excluded that will extend through to Sunday evening. You are welcome to join in for part or all of it

On Saturday between 9am and 3pm there will be a prayer and reflection space at Collins Street Baptist Church, with a sausage (and veggie burger) sizzle on the steps

Also on the Saturday, Make Poverty History is holding a festival in the Alexandra Gardens between 10am and 8pm. It will feature bands, stalls, information booths, and reflection spaces. For more information, see http://www.makepovertyhistory.com.au

 

images of today...

bleh... just came out of another random encounter, which just confuses me a bit more :S

anyways, before i was interrupted, i was just about to blog the craziness that was today...

woke up this morning to the sound of thumping on my door, which after 5mins of sleepy deliberation, decided it really was my bedroom door that was thumping, threw on a pair of shorts and my trinity top and groggily wandered out to find out that i was now the designated driver, with the mission of getting the credo lions (cricket team - it's cricket you can believe in...?) to noble park


so cricket it was!! my first game with the lions (or possibly ever?!) - drove out to noble park, played the 'noble knights' (which had a unoh face (jon owens was playing, for those who remember him from jumpstart '06)), who we absolutely thumped. had them all out for 40 in under 14 overs (these games are limited 25 overs each side), which we made easily in about the same amount of time, and having lost only two or so wickets - i even took a catch!! few more pics on marcus's credo cricket blog



that's my "look-I'm-a-cricketer-really!" smile :P after which i got back, showered and just got pretty much prepped for the pain in the arts exhibition opening!! i managed to find a few minutes to wander out and grab a strong latte, but that was about it :S

wandered down to the the city library (not the state library, the city library (on flinder la)) for the opening, and though i was really worn by then, it was pretty fun :) was great to be there celebrating the works of good friends, and i'm always partial to great cheese too :D




when i eventually get around to it, i'll be putting the rest of the pics on my flickr (otherwise known as the nates photos link on the right) - meanwhile, christop also posted some stuff on the exhibition on his wonderfully awful blog

meanings...

how was your cup day? mine was ok... i mean, i got to spend quite a bit of time with some pretty good friends, both of acf and coc variety... i got to eat decent enough food (red silks and bbq meat (i.e. not canned food)), & went through a full set of exercises. when it all comes down to the bottom line, it seems balanced, & full enough... doesn't it...?

i'm not sure if it's because i'm getting closer to yet another juncture where i try & figure out what to do with the next part of my life, or if it's the random & fleeting popping ins of once significant people, that has gotten me feeling a bit out of it... it could even be the bizar sleeping patterns i held the previous two or so days (yeah, bizar even for me...)

maybe i'm just being greedy... & not appreciative enough... maybe there ARE times where I just need to relax... & be thankful... I dunno...

don't get me wrong... i love my friends & think they're incredibly wonderful people, and in all honesty I do think of them as perhaps better than me, if i were to state things simplistically...

the thing is, even as i sat there, & laughed & ate... i just felt like the world was somewhat slipping away

i'd seen them most of them, in the same setting, only a few days ago... & it really scared me the thought that my extrapolated life could just be series of meaningless gatherings

again, lemme restate, i love my friends, & I think the world of them, & incredibly highly of them... this isn't a reflection on them at all... but moreover a reflection of me

simply, i want my life to be brilliant - not just for my own sake, but in the name of those who have gone on before me... in the revelation of lifes finiteness... in revelation bourne from those who have passed away, that every minute is precious and God blessed

there are times, times that i've absolutely cherished & that have been absolutely necessary, that i've spent doing 'nothing' with my friends... but in each... in each there'd been an adventure there... whether it'd be on a rooftop in the city, or a rooftop in the suburbs next to freeway construction

i want so badly to run so hard with every breath i have, to still be running when my time on earth is up (however soon that might be), making differences, however small, to ease some of the pain in this world... just sometimes... sometimes it's hard to figure out where to start... & sometimes just a little morbid when you realise the very real possibility of being trapped in world where you find yourself doing the same thing, all the time

nate is humming...

I've added music!! Let me know how it goes (i.e. if it's annoying, too slow to load, etc)... I'm curious to see how it'll work - player controls are on the right :D

Song of the moment? "Bratja" or which translates to "Brothers" composed by Michiru Oshima (they're singing in Russian if you're wondering)

nate wants to be astroboy...

Anime! @ the NGV!! If someone wants to come with me (time/date TBA), give us a shout out :D

"TEZUKA Osamu is heralded as an icon of the Japanese manga movement; acknowledged in Japan as an artistic master, and revered as the figurehead of the manga and anime industries. Creating over 700 manga titles during his lifetime, he is best known in the West for his cartoons of Astro Boy and Kimba the White Lion, which were serialized for television in the 1960s. Tezuka’s work is acclaimed for its complexity and originality and his drawings showcase an extraordinary calligraphic dynamism. His prolific manga work contains two main streams: manga ‘comic pictures’ for a youth audience, including Astro Boy, Kimba and Princess Knight; and gekiga ‘drama pictures’ – more seriously-toned, adult oriented narratives such as Song of Apollo and Ludwig B, that stress realistic effect and emotional impact. This exhibition features both aspects of his work, introducing Western audiences to the complexities and extraordinary range of the manga form.

This exhibition has been negotiated through Tezuka Productions in Tokyo. Comprising original drawings, designs for manga covers and posters, the exhibition will introduce Western audiences for the first time to the full scope of Tezuka’s artistic output."

3 November 2006 - 28 January 2007
Ground Level, NGV International
Admission fees apply

For more info, jump here

nate wears prada...

I decided to something tonight that I hadn't done in a long, long while.

I decided to go see a movie, by myself.

With 3 hours of sleep, having been up completing a 2000 word assignment, and having been on-the-go from 7:30am-6:30pm, I was quite utterly exhausted.

All the way to the cinema I kept second guessing myself, arguments such as "you don't have that much money to spend already and on top of that you're going to need to find a job soon", "it's not that great a movie, why bother", "why not have a quiet, cheap night @ home, you're going to be too tired to enjoy it anyways" playing over and over in my head, I got to the ticket box and bought a single ticket to The Devil wears Prada.

I walked home again, eating greasy fast food and talking on the phone to Nigel about something or rather to do with wines (at this point I had little cognitive faculty to fully process the conversation really), sat down @ home for 15mins before heading back out :S

I settled into the cinema seat, squished in between people, not even having the solace of space to rest comfortably in, with a girl on the right playing loudly on her phone and the people on my left looking disapprovingly at her. Even the previews weren't that great (I mean, Santa Clause 3?!), and it's usually a part of the experience I relish. The movie started soon after, and the starting sequence was fairly straight forward - a large chunk of it composes the trailer I had seen after all.

But there's something about a good movie that will just blind me to the harsh realities I've become accustomed to dealing with (and living in!!) everyday, and it's really quite annoying :S

I found myself grudgingly evolving from smiling, to chuckling, to laughing @ comedic junctures, and... feeling.

A girl that I could be with, and that could be with me, doesn't exist I still maintain, doesn't exist, the realist within cries out.

But in every halfway decent romantic movie, I find myself inevitably falling in love with the hope of one. The magic of that intangible, or what some may simply call chemistry, that renders that someone else into someone transcendent.

For most, romantic comedies are something to stay away from, especially when still fresh from relationship failure, but for myself I find them completely and utterly necessary – they simply restore my faith and my hope, in love.

Whilst there mightn’t be a girl out there for me, I still walked home a little warmer, and a little fuzzier on the inside – being in love, with the idea of being in love, is something I’m ok with being right now :)


P.S. Oh, and Frank Walker from National Tiles came into lunch today...

which one is the most beautiful dictator of u/seed...

a visual experiment that i've wanted to do since the bolt article :P

kim jong il vs
mark pierson

and finally, today

with barely any sleep last night (not for lack of trying, I just couldn't drift off :(), I woke up for cook duty today... which we thought we had under control... until we got to lunch time and found that the ovens hadn't been on :'( It kinda worked out though, we sorta got the people that were still there fed @ about 12:30ish :P

after which i had jackson duty, the five (?) year old of a couple that come into lunch... and we went for a walk, down to the riverside and down to the playground by the yarra behind fed square i never knew existed... and so for a couple of hours, in a day that got sunnier and sunnier, i got to be a big brother...


and now, after staff drinks, will be heading down to luke's friends place for his bucks bbq!! great company, team america the movie, and a bbq... what more could you ask for :D

thurs in passing...

i pretty much got almost everything done that i'd wanted to - applied for a job (not sure if i'll even get to interview stage, but eh, i figure @ least applying for 1 would make my parents happy :P), worked some details out for a group assignment, did my tax return (no money owed, no money returned, I'm pretty happy with that result :)), e-mailed the agency about how what the deal of working in japan is...

wed in passing...

the surreal part of wed came from the u/seed strategy meeting @ PWC, Southbank... here we rocked up, this motley crew in the midst of almost the epitome of corporate-ness, getting stuck in the rotating door and playing with our passes that allowed us to pass through the glass entry barriers...

... which led to the elevator we took to go to the 19th floor on which we were in one of their fancy, fancy corporate boardrooms and super comfy big chairs with a specatular view for a meeting with their foundation person :S

it was so surreal to be fully emersed in one environment (central house) and then go across a bridge to be submerged in a diametrically opposed version!

the presentation was really slick, the muffins were to die for, and we left the bottled drink bowl quite empty...

tues in passing...

tues was the usual h/core day, starting with up @ 8am for admin - but then it changed! as it was common work day, normal credo lunch was closed and we spent the day fixing up the place, a working bee of sorts, and it was the best way to spend the day. I was outside, painting the laneway in my daggy shorts and my old trinity top in the warmish day, and it was brilliant :D

went to staff prayers and then into a final group uni presentation, and after another ~2 hours that was uni classes done for... ever???

went to see Little Miss Sunshine after that @ the Rivoli with Vee, which was just the best way to finish that day - the movie is simply great (most definitely go see it), @ my favourite cinema and the company I was with had no equal :)

times in passing...

... hmm... what's been going on in my life...

last Friday night JEvermoreny came on a bible walk, then had Hui's housewarming the next Saturday night, crashed @ parents home that night and finally found myself back @ home Sunday arvo...

i work for north korea...

andrew bolt wrote the most bizar article last friday that drew parallels between north korea and u/seed :S

marcus (he'll be taking the jevermoreny walk this fri) then wrote a response on his own blog

they're a bit of a read, especially the response, but I found them well worth while, if only to reaffirm with Marcus's response why I do what I do :P

and, if you're keen, here's one I found in my online travels, an interesting article contrasting Christian right and left, using Kevin Rudd and Bolt's articles (in response to Rudd) as a basis

"providence"

It might have been “providence”, the word she used only a few days before, that I wrote and experienced that last post... for last night I received a formal “no” answer to what had been a few months period of waiting.

Even in light of the last post, I still felt incredibly sad. The last couple of months had been something in my life that had been amazingly light-bringing to me and incredibly positive, and to have to let something like that go is still harder than the pre-awareness I had could shield me from.

It took me a couple of moments to come to terms with the possibility a couple of days ago, but when it actually happened, it just hurt... still does.

Wasn’t going to be able to get much sleep anyways, so I woke up early, went through a full set of exercises and got through a lot of personal banking/admin and then went down to lunch... and it was ok... had been wondering if I should go for cricket training today... or if I would use that time to hide away from the world where I could...

But I decided to go... and I took part more than I’d ever done before... I bowled, I batted and fielded... and in the sun, as I continued to live life as full as I could @ every moment, the memories of the night started to fade away... phone calls from/to my closest friends started to reveal life’s goodness to me again, and later on, after hip hop class, when I see my friends again, I will be almost whole again

I AM a little irritated... before this all happened, I was happy being single!! I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and had been fine with the idea just being me!! Having your heart handed back to you sucks, and I’m almost stubbornly going to strive now to never have to give it to anyone... to be ok with me, and just me. It’s so much safer... and less painful...

At the end of the day, I failed forward, and I’ll get up, dust my heart off, and keep walking. I took the risk, it didn’t come off, but that’s ok, it really will be. Somewhere out there, there might be someone on Earth that might somehow love me for who I am, but until that day, I’m still more than satisfied chasing the someone in heaven that’s done that since the day I came into this world :)

He gives... and takes away...

I always espouse the beauty of tragedy... of season changes... to those who happen into unfortunate conversation with me :)

About the fact that the realisation of the finite nature of things, like the shortness of good weather... of a special day... or a special period in life... special friends and of special relationships... of life... lends a tinge of especially significant beauty to each

A sequence of events today gave me a bit of a heart check - and whilst I know I might be analysing things maybe a bit too much, the place it led me to is one I want to be at

The possibility of new relationship had been something growing for awhile now, and today I was hit with some very real signs that it might not be

Momentary sadness, but almost immediate, overwhelming peace with where I am, and who I am in my God came to me... and I was content :)

Who knows how things will turn out, I'm not even bold enough to predict that I'll be around to see the next day, but I love being in a place where I can reaffirm the primary orientation of my heart as my Father, and that even in light of expected loss, I can still be joyful in the life He gives me

marking time...

I've been lucky enough this week to have been able to use some annual leave at my parents place... came down on Tuesday arvo and have been here since :)

I'd been trying to figure out in terms of uni work and logistics if it was better to be in the city or to be here, but thanks to Raylene's insistent booting, I decided to come out here, and the brief, brief respite of these last couple of days have been amazingly refreshing :D

The chance to spend a weekday(!!) afternoon watching a kids 3D movie and eating chips in the sun @ knox... the time to spend a balmy spring night on a BBQ and laying out on play equipment... the time to sit and eat ice cream in front of the supermarket late, on a weeknight... and the time to just be, with some of my closest friends and family?

Priceless :D

Seizing a day :)

I was watching the Fellowship of the Ring last night, and came across the bit when Frodo was ruing to Gandalf having to be alive during such ominous times

Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.

Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

As much as this came from a cornball fantasy movie, that simple truth spoke to me in the wake of rememberance, in respects to my last post

Today I woke up, cleaned the laneway and the garage, had a fantastic outdoor bbq in the laneway with great company and then drove out to cricket training in a full, rickety car, came back and went for a bread run, came back and went to hip hop class, and am now back @ u/seed resolved to do at least 750 words on my assignment before I eat tea... all this done before 8pm...

I feel tired, but in such a good way, and no matter which way I look at it, I've seized today

Yup, I'm Frodo Baggins :P I'm still alive, for whatever reason that may be, and with every minute that I'm blessed with, I'm going to be resolved to be busy making the most of each one

Guess that means I should stop blogging now and start typing assignment words :P

Time... to go home

I've just come from Ps Teoh's funeral, picking up my things to head back into the city - it's time... to go home

And I'm upset. With myself, and if I'm honest, a bit with God

I mean, what the hell?! I never got to know Ps Teoh or his family that well being in different congregations, so I have no right to feel as sad as I do. I have no right to be crying over a man I barely knew, and for a family I never made an effort to get to know

What the HELL gives me the right to live this long?! WHY am I still here, when Gene has to go, when Ps Teoh is called back... when they had still so much good stuff to live. I don't have any kids that I actually treasure, I've already lived a blessed life...

In the last 7 days I got to be in someone's bridal party, I got to see a beautiful baptism - why the HELL am I so blessed

Why... why... why am I still crying... what right do I have... to cry

If someone comments to this post with a Christian cliche, I will so get angry - don't

and some notes on today...

had a visit from Korea, Jasmine and Sharon (all from citylife) today, who came down to share lunch with us - was good to catch up with Korea, if in the usual disfunct (and subtley threatening) Korea way.

Here's to brilliant days :D

Yesterday we had Credo team (meeting), where we usually get all those involved with Credo (volunteers, etc) and talk about stuff integral to the running of Credo Cafe.

We did that for 15mins, and then we all went to fed square for ice cream!! And it was just such a perfect way to spend that beautiful arvo... I'm still a bit dubious over my pistachio flavour choice, but a perfect arvo nonetheless...

Will get some photos up soon (yo christop, you forgot to give me the arvo photos too)...

guess who's in the laneway :D

hehehehe, excuse the pun, but this stuff is right up my alley... jump to christop's laneway blog entry!!

The weekend before...

Croc Hunter died, Brocky died... and I've had a pretty busy week too :)

Bucks weekend turned out much better than I'd thought - I'd gone thinking that it was going to be just a weekend away where a bunch of guys play xbox, and came away instead with some great moments.

I'd taken the Friday off, and went down first - arrived at the house @ 5, had a fishy chip dinner and wandered around for a bit... Went down to this amazing, secluded beach at just sat there staring out at the ocean. It was overwhelming, the sense of power and vastness of the ocean, the approaching waves (and me becoming more and more aware of how far the stairs up the cliffs were), together with the dark, ominous clouds filling the sky entirely... and the darkening day. Almost terrifying, in a bizar way.

Skip forward to the next day, and we did the bucks thing by stripping Gidz down to his jocks, gave him two towels and a pair of sunnies and then dumped him in the middle of town for him to walk back to the house - We then drove off, coming back every now and again to take photos :P

After we got back, a whole bunch of life ex'ers had come up, and proceeded to assemble the Halo multiplayer, at which I thought I'd be left to my own devices to entertain myself. But as me and Wes were finding a place to house my bike, we stumbled into the garage of the place and onto a bonanza of wet suits, surf and boogie boards!! It was a freezing day, but our minds were quickly made up - we were going out!!

We dragged Gidz away from the multiplayer conflagaration, and had one of the most memorable weekends ever - three guys, facing the waves on this beach we had all to ourselves.

The top photo really sums it up for me - three good friends together in a last hurrah

More hero shots in nate's photos...

no respite... none at all...

... and the weekend looks just as stupid too :( Going down this arvo to Philip Island for Gideon's bucks weekend... should be ok... will be back Sunday arvo...

Some drafts due on Monday night for some group work and another assignment also due that day... blehhh... damn it, that's it, I'm going to sleep now...

So tired...

Got the mega huge ASS-ignment done, with a large donation of sleep going towards it :( Starting to crash, humongously... must hang on... complete this post...

Bound the thing (binding is the most stupid process in the world, grrr), dropped it off this arvo and got to salvage some of the brilliant weather of the day with Viki... walked down and around the Botanical Gardens, through parts that I'd never seen before and seemed so foreign and fantasy like... lost in this green wonderland... then again, that could have also been the sleep deprivation speaking... and spent the developing evening sitting by the flame at the war memorial... after which we went back into the city and to Golden Monkey, where oddly enough I was recognised by the waitress there... the one we were betting on that night Mikey :P

Quote for my day :P

"…The strength of patience hangs on our capacity to believe that God is up to something good for us in all our delays and detours."
(Future Grace, pg. 174)

From desiringGod

at the moment?

Working my way through a report that's due soon... want to get a lot of it done, so will probably continue posting randomly throughout the night :P

Also listening to Ryuichi Sakamoto's Forbidden Love, playing on this blog... it's been on repeat for me the last 6hrs or so :P

And the w/end?

Yet another blur :S Friday night I went for a jap buffet with Vee and est, which was mega funny - because they make you pay for excessive wastage, and we underestimated the amount of food they brought out. We ended up spending a lot of time eating not for enjoyment (tho the food wasn't bad) and mostly to save money :P After which we went to Stokers... which was ok...

Saturday I went on a mystery church date with Eco-Paul... who took me out to Oakleigh and a bus out to... Cheltenham? Where I only got to find out which church it was when I got there, and it was Bayside :S Talking to the hospitality guy there afterwards, turns out we knew quite a few similar people, which was quite disturbing... I mean, how far do you have to go until you can get away entirely from the degrees of separation thing...

After that I met up with bibi, mikey and vee and we all went to Golden Monkey, and inadvertantly had a blast meeting the promo people there :P All extremely beautiful, and all taken, but some were just really nice and spent a lot of the night talking to us :P Mikey was in halfie heaven...

Sunday afternoon woke up, pottered around a bit then met up with Viki... which was unreasonably fun as usual :S We went skating @ St Kilda again, this time @ night, and found ourselves in the most momenty-moments... on a pier... on a hill, looking out over the bay... and wondering by the end of the night, just where all the time had gone...

the week gone by...

... and then, it was Friday :S Can't believe it's already here, glad it is, tho there isn't much respite in immediately viewable sight.

Mikey & Kaiwin crashed over on Wed night cuz they missed their last train... amusing tales on Christop's site...

Then Vee came down last night, and we went adventuring until the wee hours of the morn... which will remain unspecified as my dad sometimes comes by this blog :P

Which leaves us with Fri! Woke up, had lunch, cleaned up Credo, fixed the right hand mirror on my bike, and will now meander thru other assorted tasks... hopefully a work weekend ahead of me tho, hope to get a lot of good h/work done tomorrow and Sunday...

hehehe...

... ok ok, back down to earth now... but it's a bit fun to go through these crazy, obsessive moods every now and again :P

funny how...

...you can have seen someone the previous day, and yet feel like it's been forever since you last talked to them. When you repeatedly refresh your inbox hoping for their reply, even though you know they're away for those days... and when that reply finally comes, you hang onto every word that's said... and everything around you reminds you of them.

moments...

I've been blessed with some pretty special moments lately...

...skating/walking along the beach the beach and sitting at the end of a pier until that stars came out...

...spending some great and ridiculous times with some precious friends on the rooftop, on bean bags, huddled under blankets...

...spending a night by a lake watching the ducks swim by in the dim light...

...long phone calls with kindred spirits...

Life... has been pretty blessed :)

guess who's back... back again :)

As life settles down once again and I'm sitting here pondering the journey since my last post, it's a bit mind boggling the incredible distance I've come in a matter of a few months :S

Rather than attempt to type it all out, I figure I'll instead post some pics of my travels, to give a small snapshot of where I've been - there are more photos if you click the nates photos link on the right :)

you notice the door is shut... with a "be right back" sign, swinging from the doorknob...

... after being reminded of blogspace recently, I figured I should leave some sort of note explaining something...

Haven't blogged for ages, and I'm actually fantastically happy that I haven't been :D Life after exams have been extremely fun - have been getting into all sorts of strife and trouble, but in a mischievious, fun, fun way... well... fun now... will probably come back and bite in the proverbial buttocks, but eh... fun, fun :P

My last post was a bit painful, but in brief, am in a great place now, thanks though, those who have been concerned and for those praying for me :)

Life for me is so busy and fun, that I haven't the time to blog about it, which is great - will probably start dropping more notes here when life starts to slow down... it will eventually... right... I mean... it has to... I'll need to sleep sometime...

Blogging to clear the head... and leave a trail of crumbs..

Intermission from the last post...

I blog for numerous reasons, but primarily it serves as an avenue to release some of the "explosive diarrhoea" that congests my head, and heart... as well as to mark out my journey, so I can see where I've come from...

So here's a bit of a whinge about pain and heartbreak... I HATE being vulnerable :( Recently things have been great, I thought, hey... I'm getting over the breakup hump... and I think I still am... but there are little things, thoughts that come in and just derail that sometimes... there's still so much stuff inside that I've just been working so hard to hold up... so that life continues, study, work, friends... just keep swimming... been intense times of sadness... of wanting to cry... but not being able to...

Random thoughts... incoherence... yep... looks like a post that fits on my blog... back to study...

And finally, onto Sunday...

... this one was always going to take a bit of time to compose...

Sunday morning I actually work up earlish and made it down to Life Expedition... I was quite proud of that, until Tim decided to go overboard... and I found myself lamenting getting there @ 10:30am and still being in the seat @ 12:45pm... but, along with the Flinders Street bumpage last night, was really good to connect with the streeties that go there... grabbed takeaway lunch and headed home to hit the books...

Hit the books until 7, when I thought I'd make my way down to the Sunday dinners in Credo... was getting ready to head down when tremendous noises occurred... lotta banging...

I got down there to a shaken Ali - he'd been in the middle of a violent episode involving two huge drunk guys... who had literally thrown chairs at people, raised them to whack others, thrown bowls with such force as to break on impact... the police were called and took the one guy that had done all these things away...

Dinner went on... had a bowl of stuff and was talking to 'nomes when I heard a streetie discretely telling someone that the other guy was back... and so I inconspicuously headed out into the laneway to see what was up.

He was there, with another guy, drinking a bottle of Port and just being drunk... Ray was there talking with the other guy... and so I sat down with them, to make sure things were ok... started talking to them... well, as much as you can communicate with wasted people... and we sat there for the hour or so... was bloody freezing...

Eventually he falls asleep, and Christop has joined us by then... we start talking about what to do about getting them home... when Ray came out, nudged me and said as discretely as she could that we need to get them out NOW... cuz the Sunday night volunteers had called the cops again... I had but a moment to process that information when I looked up, and blinked hard... two cops walking were bearing down on us... I was like... frikking heck, this is bad...

To be continued...

Saturday's transgressions...

Woke up shamelessly late, and met up with Wes & Sas, Gids & Sue (yup, I was the fifth wheel) for Wes's birthday dinner (@ Crown), and I found the night really enjoyable... which yes... surprised me :) I think it's a sign that I'm finally getting over the hill of the last month...

I thought I'd try and style my hair after months of not bothering, so I went to the shops to get some stuff... given my orientation, I thought this product would be quite apt for me (look at the redish square highlight on the right of the image)...



Which resulted in...



Dunno readers... did I "create the ultimate Manga look"? :P

After the dinner, and a stop @ the Flinders Station steps, I met up with Mari (the tiniest Japanese girl that's 30!!) for a Kirin @ Robot Sushi, and then walked her home... wasn't a bad way to end the night, really...

Friday was a long one...

... cleaned laneway in the morn, cooked what was apparently a bonza carbonara with resie Christop for Credo, tidied up my essay (added appendices, references, conclusion and formatting), handed it in, had a nap and then went to Swanston St Church of Christ for the CRASH event that Mark Pierson was scheduled to speak @, in place of Tim Costello...

Was a bit bizar, as the event (we found out that night) was more a talent show that had the theme of homelessness, rather than any real street initiative... Mark gave a great message though, humble but challenging us to do more than just be aware of the complex issue, otherwise we perpectuate stereotypes, and just exploit the image for the goal of winning prizes...

It is FINISHED... well, sorta...

Time to catch up on copious amounts of blogging...!!

After kicking butt (I hope) on a 10% test last Tuesday and handing in 4500+ words of essay on Friday arvo I've concluded my semester 1 assignments!! Woo hoo... what an ordeal... but onto exams now... bleh...

D's for degrees...

... dammit, it's such a hard gay phrase, but it's going to get me through!! Whenever I've been feeling unfocussed or distracted, this is what Mikey will say - and it's so bizarre, cuz it works :S

Pretty happy with the work I put in over the weekend, 1600 words done for one assignment over sat/sun and then studied for a test (worth 5%) today, did it, and got 95%... just have to finish the assignment (3k words all up), and it's onto exams...

... d's for degrees...

someone tell me why...

... when it comes to the concept of "cheating" on partners, guys will be more hurt if the nature of the offense if physical, whilst girls will place more of an issue when it has to do with matter of the heart?

My tentative theory is that girls are more inclined to be with a guy due to their internals (no, not bodily organs, you know what I mean), whilst guys place a larger emphasis on external appearances.

Then again, I might have this concept wrong, and it might be girls that have a problem with physical cheating, etc...

Tell me readers, what's the general consensus...