Monday, September 03, 2007

A bit of a rant...

I’ve been so hesitant in posting again, as I really wanted to have sat down and been able to encapsulate my South Africa, to at least have penned a closing blog post, signing off on an incredible adventure

Over a month has come and gone, and I still haven’t felt all that much closer to being able to capture it all in a neat sound byte; perhaps it’s my inability to comprehend it at a higher level at this point in time, or just the lack of creativity within the realm of English phrasing that restricts me in being able to capture it’s essence…?

I mused, sitting on the veranda of the YDC as the sun set, how surreal the experience would all seem after having returned; the ironies of living with 7 (at one time) European girls, fighting bush fires, being uniquely Chinese, working always with Zulus, banging around in the back of a beat-up diesel ute (or “buggy” as they call it), how dream-like it would seem when I was once again back in Melbourne…

And now, slowly after 4 weeks of gradual immersion into the corporate world, in almost diametric opposition to where and what I was doing little over a month ago, it’s still hard not to get hung up on it a bit :P The ongoing act of internal reconciliation between these quite divergent paths has been confusing to say the least…

But slowly, with gentle and sometimes not so gentle prods from significant people in my life, my family, viki, mikey, ange, k, the resies, YFCers and world vision, my ‘life picture’ after the last year and a half almost starts to make a semblance of sense… of hope and goals that I’m passionate about...

I still feel so far away from getting a life-balance that I’m happy with, or one that even remotely balances everything I’ve been lucky to experience and learn. But with prayerful commitment of everything I’ve done in the past to the past (and not live or dwell on past glories; Eccl 7:10?), and a hopefully God-sensitive resolution to plug into the now, I’m going to concentrate on being the best I can be, in Him, in this season, for where He’s placed me

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"I’m going to concentrate on being the best I can be, in Him, in this season, for where He’s placed me"
... Beautiful... challenging but it's great that your heart's there :o)

Was it a culture shock coming back to Australia? A land where we continuously aspire to obtain MORE 'blessings' or 'unnecessary luxuries'? Where people here die from over-eating whilst 800 million people go to bed hungry each day? Where we forget to thank the Govt for providing free vaccinations against preventable diseases to all children in this nation?

I think you're discovering God's reality for this world and I hope you continue to run with it :o)

Unknown said...

Ditto.

It's hard work trying to I guess not let the 'high' of your time away to drop away. It takes an incredible amount of effort to, not keeping it a high, but to continually be aware and take and active role in the things you've learnt whilst serving there. It's so easy to fall back into routine once you're back on familiar territory.

Anonymous said...

i like what i'm hearing.. that 'in between' time which i'm sure that everyone - from the insignificant to the great - go through. Sounds like you know though which direction is 'up'. God is awesome isn't he. Whenever i get a clear glimpse of Him I think that he's awesome...