The state of the world... or at least nate's head...

I don't know quite what to make of it all.

The night in segments:

1) Tonight was the end of the local charismatic church conference, and it ended with a good message that really hit home for me about the core of the gospel; about how we, as Kaiwin would put it, are "dirty, rotten sinners", and we all fall short of the glory of God

2) As one would expect a very triumphant closure to the conference then came about, with high praise; a celebration of sorts, lots of noise, loud, loud music, lots of movement

3) Then contrasted with a bit of an aimless drive around the 'burbs, by myself listening to the BBC reports about the incredible situation in Burma; of hearing over the scratchy AM airwaves of the incomprehensible strength of the Burmese, in the face of a corrupt government, in the face of massively violent retaliations, standing up not for themselves, but for their nation. Of movements around the world rallying support for the embattled peoples, on a huge global scale


4) And then getting home, and reading in "What's so amazing about grace?" about incredible acts of grace throughout history, the very strength (and not weakness) of grace, and how grace, perhaps moreso than violence, can dramatically change history

Add all of that up, and you get something that doesn't quite fit into a nice neat package that is easily digestable and regurgitable, and I'm sure a large part of it is just my own lack of comprehension skills, rather than an enormous complexity of thoughts, but it's a little confusing / challenging / provoking nonetheless...

Sunday night

Some part of me wishes I had photos from the night, but for the most, I think I’m content with the specialness of the moment being captured solely in the hearts and minds of those there that night

A life highlight, one that leaves me wondering how such things occur; are they purely happy hap stance, where the right combination of people, in the right temperaments and the right frame of mind are sitting around the right shaped table? Or is it possible for these to be brought about on a regular basis… were we subconsciously subscribing to the ethos of Credo Café, of spirituality, sociality and food-iology?

At this point you might be trying to figure out what wondrous occasion I encountered that night, what momentous event had come to pass…

To which I would answer, t’was verily the simpleness of an ordinary meal, with the perfect company, willing to lend themselves in banter and humility to produce sparkling conversation…

Whilst the recent camp would most probably be the highlight of recent events for most, the dinner was for me, by far the most extraordinary

A bit of a rant...

I’ve been so hesitant in posting again, as I really wanted to have sat down and been able to encapsulate my South Africa, to at least have penned a closing blog post, signing off on an incredible adventure

Over a month has come and gone, and I still haven’t felt all that much closer to being able to capture it all in a neat sound byte; perhaps it’s my inability to comprehend it at a higher level at this point in time, or just the lack of creativity within the realm of English phrasing that restricts me in being able to capture it’s essence…?

I mused, sitting on the veranda of the YDC as the sun set, how surreal the experience would all seem after having returned; the ironies of living with 7 (at one time) European girls, fighting bush fires, being uniquely Chinese, working always with Zulus, banging around in the back of a beat-up diesel ute (or “buggy” as they call it), how dream-like it would seem when I was once again back in Melbourne…

And now, slowly after 4 weeks of gradual immersion into the corporate world, in almost diametric opposition to where and what I was doing little over a month ago, it’s still hard not to get hung up on it a bit :P The ongoing act of internal reconciliation between these quite divergent paths has been confusing to say the least…

But slowly, with gentle and sometimes not so gentle prods from significant people in my life, my family, viki, mikey, ange, k, the resies, YFCers and world vision, my ‘life picture’ after the last year and a half almost starts to make a semblance of sense… of hope and goals that I’m passionate about...

I still feel so far away from getting a life-balance that I’m happy with, or one that even remotely balances everything I’ve been lucky to experience and learn. But with prayerful commitment of everything I’ve done in the past to the past (and not live or dwell on past glories; Eccl 7:10?), and a hopefully God-sensitive resolution to plug into the now, I’m going to concentrate on being the best I can be, in Him, in this season, for where He’s placed me