To my friends...

Gee, three posts for the entire month!! That’s dropping the blog-ball a fair bit :)

So why would this be… what’s happening to keep nate from venting virtually on a regular basis…

With so many good things happening, so many great times shared and experienced, it’s not for a lack of ‘stuff’…

Perhaps, it’s the excess of stuff that’s stopped me from taking this time out; an excess that I’ve only started to manage again, a recent spate of ‘nothing’ nights being the first in a while…

Not to mention quite a few things that I’ve been keeping quite close… as I’m perhaps too cowardly to commit them to writing for fear that they don’t eventuate…

Things are also starting to calm down (relatively; there’s still an insane amount to get done in the next week+) at work; I gave two training sessions (Mon & Tues just past), to interstate team leaders that were flown in from all around Aus to specifically be briefed on my project, which went off to spectacular success – upon review at the end of the day, all they seemed to remember were my anecdotes and my dry, dry humour :S Not to mention impressing quite a number of my colleagues, who had up to this point assumed I was just this quiet worker bee :P

But the nate snap-shot @ this moment? Things… are still somewhat confusing. Things are still so much in the air… for the longest time I’ve been living this life where everything has been influx… and still sorta is.

Jobs (and thus finances too), transportation, friends, churches, future dreams are all incredibly fluid right now… which is more than a little disconcerting for someone who loves to buy his movie tickets 12hrs in advance, and plan out as much as he can…

On that point, it’s stretching and growing to be with a girl that lives so naturally spontaneously, and to have a best bud that’s also going through a similarly impacting time of changes… the perfect companions for this ride I’m on…

So really… this post is about something… but nothing definite… which is… pretty much my life at this point :P I DO hope to catch up personally with all you, my close friends, soon and if I’m being reticent in doing so, and organizing things, please just drag me out!!

Have missed you all, and look forward to one-on-one coffees, adventures and carpark nights again…

Nathan

new song in nate’s head...

a magical night in a laneway from the past, with all of you in the city, my resie family...

in the memory of such loss, celebrating your beautiful wedding...

candle-lit dinners, and you my dear friends...

your smile, your voice, marking another day I find myself falling in love...



...and through it all, weaving it all together...

...is You

you and me

To hot dates :)

Tonight, I had a hot date; an incredibly beautiful, witty and disarmingly charming one...

I chopped, assembled and candle-lit my way to a humble table spread (maybe I did pick up something last year, whilst setting lasagnes on fire with Christop...), put on a little mood music, and turned off the lights...

... and it was fun!! Even now, after I've just finished cleaning up (2hrs), it still seems like a very small price to pay for the specialness of the company

Maybe it was a combination of finally having had enough rest, and feeling for the first time in a long time, a stretch of days where I felt like me

Either way, it just felt right to show hospitality the way I used to in the city again, and incredibly fun to date five of my dear, dear friends tonight :D

ok it's official...

i have a bloody brilliant gf :o

There are many things that have happened recently (i.e. wedding & some torrid late, late nights), and will blog about them (later), but this one simply can't wait

About a month ago, viki asked me to keep tonight free; I checked my diary, saw it as free, and booked it in... she wouldn't tell me what, just told me to keep it free

I got to her place after a long, tiring day @ work, and almost near dead exhaustion (only marginally exaggerating), change clothes, and jump back into the car; she tells me where to go, and so we head there, me still not having the foggiest of the itenary of the night...

I find out just as we're entering the main auditorium that she's bought us tix to go see the LIVE production of...


I still can't believe it... and my face is still sore from all the laughing I did tonight... :D Just so blown away by the gesture... and feel, after what's seemed like an infinite period of weariness, undeservedly blessed :)

Read objectively, if you dare...

"Getting zapped by God and shooting up heroin are very, very closely related"

nate's notes

“However, that personal God is never private. Restricting God to private space was the great heresy of the twentieth-century American evangelicalism. Denying the public God is a denial of biblical faith itself, a rejection of the prophets, the apostles, and Jesus himself. Exclusively private faith degenerates into a narrow religion, excessively preoccupied with individual and sexual morality whilst almost oblivious to the biblical demands for public justice. In the end, private faith becomes a merely cultural religion providing the assurance of righteousness for people just like us.”

nate's thoughts: whoa... is it wrong to immediately think that this scarily resembles the church I go to? Hehehehe... will I get expelled for daring to ask if that link exists? :P

But, more importantly than me pointing fingers, what are the implications of this passage for me?

One of the things I took away from last year is the active reconciling of faith and action; of action that goes beyond private institution and into the world, but hand in hand with a faith that compels and inspires it

This year was always going to be a stretching one for me; what does life look like after Urban Seed; how will I hang what the bible asks of us as socially responsible Christians, together with a life that naturally is me?

nate's notes

p34

“The lesson is this: God is personal, but never private. If God is not personal, there is little meaning to faith. It merely becomes a philosophy or a set of teachings from religious figures who died long ago. Without a personal God, there is no personal dimension to belief. There is no relationship to transformation without a personal God, and no power that can really change our lives beyond mere self-improvement.”

nate’s thoughts: Passages like this show me that the author IS being relatively measured in his approach; neither taking a partisan side (i.e. left vs. right). It also challenges me; is the God I subscribe too, and choose to orientate my life to, is He my personal God also?

To find that balance where God is not simply a super-side kick that we can command around or ask to do things for us, but to also not live in the other extreme where it can be just acts, even if socially engaging and impacting, without a personal faith at the core of it all... I find this so hard to do... but the constant search for this balance keeps my faith alive, vibrant and real... it is painfully and annoyingly lifting :P

nate's notes

God’s Politics
- Jim Wallis, p33

“It was my mother’s admonitions that became the first building blocks for my emerging social conscience. Phyllis Wallis told her children to always do two things. First, if there is a child that nobody else will play with, you play with him or her, she ordered. It was like a rule of play for us – nobody gets left out. Second, if there is a bully who is picking on other people, you stand up for them, she courageously commanded. Virtually all my fights in school were with bullies.”

nate's thoughts: In the day and age of people raising their kids to be ahead of the curve, to be near or at the top of the class, to get ahead of life, there is an incredible homely resonance for me with this passage... the emphasis of others in an implicit acknowledgement of taking care of the wealth we have in the people we have around us, not in a charitable act of pity, but in a natural orientation of life... when I start to think along these lines, things make sense, life starts to make sense again for me, and becomes incredibly simple, significantly stress-less (I mean, what’s usually causing me stress? Usually material wants and needs!), and joyful, because I once again realise the riches I have are not what I own, but those around me

nate's rants...

Have decided to start posting personal notes and reflections as I go through the book "God's Politics"; I realise it's probably not going to be as interesting to readers as BGR controversy, but like those thoughts, these are some that are close to my heart :)

nate does requests...?!

Nah, nah... as requested, here's a pic of me and viki... aren't I purdy... NOT... she's pretty hot though :D

Ah, crap-on-a-stick...

... I got through to the 2nd round :( Good news you might think? No!! First of all, it means the not-getting-rejected uncertainty continues for at least another week, and secondly, the longer it goes for, the more I'll be disappointed by the eventual rejection... bleh :(

I don’t want to have to handle the possibility of earning more money that’ll be harder for me to give away/donate, I don’t want to have the temptation of “comfort” or start to value a person’s job and what they do (status and position), I want to stay happy with what I have, and a simple life… and in that Mikey, I’m the bigger coward

And please guys… don’t comment with things like “I’m sure you’ll be fine”, because I’m working really hard to keep life in this perspective!! I really don’t want to turn into a person that invests and hopes so much on a job that it starts to verge anywhere near my usual ecstasy over a solitary movie date, and a packet of lollies

Waiting for rejection :)

Yesterday was killer, so much to do, so little sleep... and I think I really screwed up the interview too; not sure if it's because of how badly I did, and now I'm being a child about it, but I came out not feeling particularly great about the job, I came out with a pretty uncomfortable vibe; the cold metallic lift ride down, with a screen showing stock prices served to remind me of what such a job would entail, and the trappings of which I'd have to confine myself to if I was to embrace such a direction... yech...

So I'm kinda hoping that they'll give me a call this arvo to "thank me for coming in, but yeah, no thanks", so that I can just close that chapter, not have to pretend to be obsessed with corporate life and success, and after a good nights sleep tonight, enjoy the sunny, sunny weekend!! It'll be t-shirts and shorts riding weather for sure...

Some words from Timbo Costa...

"Over this last weekend I preached four times in Adelaide churches. The largest gathering was at the Edge, a Pentecostal church with an estimated 5,000 members. It was held in a huge sports stadium. The church has taken the lead in renovating an entire wing of the Royal Women’s and Children’s Hospital in Adelaide. They have also done wonderful work at some dilapidated high schools close to their area. They are deeply involved in community transformation particularly on behalf of the poor. I was deeply impressed by their work and commitment. The test of the success of their ministry was not how many people were in the church but what impact they had on ensuring their community was healthy. A fine test to apply and to pass. As the pastor said to me his personal revelation was in reading the New Testament and finding that not one of Jesus’ miracles was performed within a church or sanctuary – all of them were out there in the wider community. That is where God is at work and where this church wants to act."

crush (krŭsh); v. crushed, crush·ing, crush·es

I seem to pick up a few things in my travels, and there are a few things that seem to be almost consistently common; i.e. people bemoaning a lack of romance in their lives (refer to below), as well as another weird phenomena, an incredible proportion of people maintaining or cultivating ‘crushes’

If I think back over the last couple of years, I can’t actually recall personally maintaining unresolved crushes for an extended period of time; the closest I could possibly relate to one over that period would be coming out of an encounter with someone, wondering why it was so, so fun, blog about it; as soon as I’d hit the “Publish” button, I’d then read over my literary piece, pat myself on the back, and then just get on with the rest of my life…

Maybe it was cuz I was blessed with incredibly close and intense friendship groups (blog squad, resies) that I never felt a dearth of relationship in the brief periods of singleness, I never really felt that I was missing anything in particular. You can read through my previous posts, I think I’m actually pretty consistent in that too, and not just spouting this off now…

Chasing God, and jumping into all the bizarre places He had for me was simply exhilarating; and together with Mikey, my family and misc friends, I really found myself lacking in nothing, life was amazingly rich

Which is why everytime I hear of unresolved (or unresolving) ‘crushes’, I have to admit, I’ve always failed to understand why they’re there…

Is it because people aren’t blessed with a similar caliber of friends? Is it because we’re subliminally indoctrinated that we need a partner to make us whole?

What confuses me even more is the sheer volume of those people with crushes that are waiting for that someone to come into their lives to share their love with, when there is an entire world going largely unloved by us; are we loving the poor, the neglected, those at the margins, wherever that may be in your context?

Do we walk by the beggars outside the Maccas, cnr of Swanston/Lonsdale?

Do we only concern ourselves with the friends we “like”, or are like “us”?

Do we really care about our friends, or are they just social circles for our own convenience?

Do we say me first, and then wonder why someone isn’t saying you first?

Are we still waiting for God to “gift” us with that one person, and only then we’ll take that risk to “love” someone?

Loving people, is the most dangerous, most painful and the greatest thing we can ever do; and the very nature of love, is that it’s not what we can get, but what we give; exercise your heart, by making your life a natural orientation of love to the people around you in ALL contexts, now!!

Spiritual warfare isn't going to work as one prayer you say in six months that coincides with the exam you're sitting in five minutes, having an exquisite upper torso isn't something that just appears once it's summer and love isn't something you'll just be able to turn on; it'll come out, like the torso, weird, ineffective and... fat??? :P Rather than poignant, touching, meaningful and relevant.

Exercise your heart, so when that one person someday enters your world, and you wake up to find yourself in relationship, you can then love that person with a big, strong heart :)

"sleep"? What's that?

Arggghhh… not only did I stay up till 4am working on a personal craft project, waking up @ 7:45am to still only get to work @ 9:10am, but I also have to ride into the city from work (with no break in between), somehow appear cognitive and awake for what will be a tough interview AND I’ve just checked the weather and it’s forecasting showers and possible THUNDERSTORMS for this afternoon

Great, just great… I finally catch up on all my sleep on Sunday, only to have a day like today (or the next few days for that matter)…

I’ll be fine… I just need to have this rant… *sigh*…

ro·mance (rō-māns', rō'māns')

I come across a lot of people in my travels, of both single and attached varieties, complaining of a lack of romance in their lives; and no, I don't frequent singles bars, and as far as I can tell, the topic does not seem to be mutually exclusive to the social circles you might think I'm referring to (you know who you are!!)

Guys complaining about not knowing what to do, and how unfair that the onus is on them; girls complaining that guys just have no clue...

And whilst I find it fun sometimes to jump into light conversation on the idiosynchrosies that occur in the various realms of interactivity between genders (an intellectual way of saying "I'm from COC" or, "BGR"), it admittedly does frustrate me quite a bit

No, I'm not writing this with any ONE criminal in mind, I'm writing this with ALL of you in mind :P

Romance, like joy, is not a fleeting feeling, but a conscious state of mind, it's a life attitude; It is up to YOU to make a conscious decision to make your life romantic :)

Not that the Left are the best in everything, but charismatics have a tendency to just let life happen, perhaps to an extreme, and then just lament that it does; God is sovereign yes, and there ARE seasons of waiting, but there are also seasons to murder... whoops, I mean, do stuff :P God, an incredibly creative being, gave us all brains (then again, if you're reading this blog, you probably have a pretty small one :P) and surrounds us EVERY day with inspiration; how much of these talents, these gifts, of nature and our environments do we "bury"?

And don't try and counter with "but natey, it's easy for you because you already have someone"; ask anyone around me, even in the periods of singleness (yes yes ange / mikey, however brief they may be :P), I DO romantic things; it's who I am, it's who I enjoy being

I watch soppy movies (by myself), I skate along the beach, I go to dance classes... etc, etc...

I'm romantic to my close friends; a little extra thought can turn a present of coasters into the surprise of a thoughtful, relevant gift; a hug here, lotsa hugs there... well, ok, whilst I'm usually giving them, I'm having heaps of fun for me with them too :P

LOVE who you are, and in a world that teaches how to achieve your own goals, to look after your own self, be passionate about the people around you; it is who I am now, and the only way I want to live

Daring to be different? Or am I just retarded :P

Well, let's see what the week might look like... hmm...

Tues night, going to do all I can to FINALLY make it to a hip hop class! There are several things I entered 2007 with the hopes of developing, and the continuance in the search for co-ordination was one I'd decided on early, early on; I WILL be an ok dancer! I will!! If any are interested in joining me in convulsive epileptical fits, it's $17for60mins@DanceFactory@Richmond@7pm...

the being different part would be the going to see miss potter @ 9:40pm @ glenny... most are going to see happyness @ 9:10pm, but me, me, I'm seeing peter rabbit... :S Am just not a big fan of seeing movies with lotsa, lotsa people... that said, knowing that lotsa, lotsa people don't read this blog, any of u r more than welcome... but not if u bring lotsa, lotsa people...

Wed night - sk8er punking the streets of g'wavery...

Thurs night - midsummer's night dream production in the botanical gardens; have gotten tickets, it's gonna be 28degrees&fine, gonna prepare a picnic, am going with the hottest girl in the world, and she happens to be mine... it's going to be the best Thurs EVA...

Fri night - appears to be rock clambering at this point in time, with details still being fleshed out...

Lettuce know (get it, "lettuce"? "lettuce" = "let us"??? :D) if ur in the areas on any of these nights (EXCEPT THURS!! NO one call me THURS night!!); u know the drill, u know the number ;)

Oz day :)

Going to skip the temptation to just blog about everything that happened over the w'end, but to instead just note down some of the stuff that made my weekend pretty unforgettable :D

... a beach day, a summer day, but all the more brilliant in the way it capped off by watching Talladega Nights with Mikey, a few assorted others & a 'particular' girl... beer in a bottle... just brilliant...

... a night in the botanical gardens, fending off waves & waves of cute possum attacks, using nothing but bottles of mt franklin & a picnic rug... priceless...

... a random church visit, the bumpage of a dear, dear 'nome and a night talking, snuggling, & barely watching the tennis :)

... the memories of the w/end blessed... yeah... that's an amazing amount of inspiration that will get me through this week :D

snapshots of the week in passing...

When the going gets rough...

In light of all the recent postings on blogs that I frequent, I've decided to dedicate this post to all those going through a really, rough time, whether it'd be about work, finances, unrequited love, people not understanding you, or broken cameras...

Little Miss Sunshine was recently nominated for 4 Academy Awards; yet, when it first came out, I only knew of it because of christop, and likewise no one else in my other friendship circles were aware of it either

And in the age of movies with production budgets of $200-$300 million, this one was completed for $8 million

I don't know much, and in full awareness of it, I won't claim any sort of authority about what I think, but here are some thoughts, and I hope they might perhaps help u to see even a sliver of light @ the end of the tunnel

LMS had heaps of witty quotes, but one particulary apt, for the rough times that I had personally been through

Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap- high school and everything- just skip it.

Frank: You know Marcel Proust?

Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.

Frank: Yeah. French writer.

Total loser.

Never had a real job.

Unrequited love affairs.

Gay.

Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare.

Anyway, he uh- he gets down to the end of his life...and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered-Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was.

All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing.

So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school- Those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that.

---

To throw a little christianese (this is for you karen, sue; mikey should prob cover his ears...) into the fray, David doesn't become David without a Goliath :)

I've been through a lot the last couple of years, have seen a lot, and they've ALL conspired to make me who I am today

And even in light of the failures and anguish I've endured, I wouldn't have it any other way :)

Trivia: In case you were wondering, Proust really did exist, and really is a significant literary figure...